I am the mum who wrote in about the girl using abuse to get her way. I need to clarify some points. It's hard to know how much info to put in without rambling.
1. My dd and C have been friends since kindly but in the last few years she has relied very heavily on my girl.
2. This is a floater group with 6-7 kids who come and go every day so the group changes.
3. My girls isn't a catty bitch. She is very kind and often helps others who look lonely.
4.this behaviour happens when C doesn't get her way.
5.its OK to not want to play with the same ppl everyday. Even my dd doesn't play with her bestie everyday.
Thank you.
This is a place where women from different backgrounds, cultures and beliefs come together to support one another judgement free.
4 Replies
Add it to your original post before it goes to facebook.
Sounds like C is jealous and possessive which is unfortunately common in abused kids. I think you have chosen the wrong choice of words by saying she uses abuse to get her own way and some people may find it offensive. C's behaviour is not calculated or thought out, she is not thinking to herself 'wow, I can really use my past to get me everything in life'. She is 12 and still a victim. Abused kids are hard to handle they can be quite horrible. Their past haunts them for life. Maybe it will be a good idea for your daughter to see a psych herself and get some advice on how to put some healthy distance between them, how to handle her and how to also be supportive.
Cannot believe so many grown women decided your daughter was a catty bully, I read the post and thought she sounded lovely and was just confused! Absolutely ridiculous some of the comments. Pot kettle black situation.
Is there a school councillor who could offer some mediation?
If you try and take the persons perspective out of the post, then yes it does sound like there is a bit of cattiness going on. We all think our children are angels and if OP is not there to witness all of this she really only has her daughters take on the situation, and of course mothers are bias. It does not hurt to be shown the possibility of how things look from another person's perspective. I think as parents we need to do this or you end up being putty in their hands, not good when headed towards the teenage years.
I'll stand by my origional advice - set up a meeting with your daughter's teacher to discuss your concerns and get a better perspective of the whole situation rather than just your daughter's perspective, the teacher may feel it would be best to have a meeting with all parents involved in order to do that.
Your daughter is explaining things from her point of view.
Girl C would see things differently from her point of view.
The reality probably falls somewhere in the middle, I think people were just suggesting in the first post that you should keep an open mind here because even the nicest girls can have their moments of cattiness, especially if I comes from being fed up (which sounds like your daughter is - understandably too!).
As I said on the on my first post, these girls need support to learn the tools to interact more positively.
It sounds like girl C has a lot going on, insecurity probably being high up that list. None of which is your daughter's fault or even her problem but it is a good opportunity to teach her empathy, understanding and the best way to deal with people who are trying to manipulate you (and why they do it).