So I have just found out from my husband that for years my mother has been texting him behind my back every time we have had a fight or disagreement. My mother and I are quite close so this has been quite a shock and betrayal on both sides. My husband has asked me not to say anything but I’m so in shock I just can’t even process this whole thing it’s just so bizarre. Help what do I do??
7 Replies
Nothing? Obviously when she's upset she feels he can help smooth things. I'm not sure why this is a big deal?
Wait so, you go to your mother to confide in her or vent about an argument with your husband, and then she messages him afterwards to tell him what you’ve said?
I’d be very fucked off at both of them for hiding and going behind my back in such a matter, holy cow
No when my mother and I have a argument she texts him and bitches to him about it
Oh same same though. They are both still going behind your back. What the hell, that’s not okay
Wow, that's ... I can't even think of a way to describe that lol.
What should you do?
I'd talk to your husband firstly.
Was it a 2 way bitch session that he happily participated in? If so, I'd be seriously pissed with him too and I'd be giving them both a piece of my mind!
Or...
Was it he sort of replying with an "um ok then!?" and sort of keeping it to himself to avoid upsetting you, in that case I wouldn't be too mad with him because he probably meant well by not telling you.
If hubby doesn't want you to say anything, he needs to (which he should've done the first time it happened). He needs to tell her she's putting him in a really unfair position, the meat in the sandwich if you will, and that he doesn't want to be involved in your squabbles anymore!
Wow your mum sounds like a piece of work! Did your husband actively engage in conversations? Have you seen his responses?
They’re both in very big wrongs here, but pending how he handled it then I would be letting him off lightly.
I don't think this is your husbands fault. Your Mum probably texts him to see if you have been in a bad mood before the fight or let him know what has been said, and he probably doesn't know what to say or do. He could just not want to be involved either and your mum puts him in an awkward position. This is an issue you need to bring up with your Mum. If your husband was texting your Mum everytime you and he had a fight then it would be his problem. It's all on your Mum though.