4 kids and none have got my last name, oldest three have their dads last name and youngest has his dads last name. You can give it what ever you want doesn't even have to be a last name either of you have the two of you can create a whole new last name for your baby.
My son took my name. I knew there was a high chance dad would do a runner (he'd run twice during the pregnancy).
I did the right thing. My thinking is it's easy to change a child's name to dads name if he stayed in the picture, it's terrible difficult getting it changed to mine if dad ran.
If you plan on being primary carer then make it the same as yours or youll regret it.
If you plan on marrying him do it now otherwise change the childs name if/when you change yours.
Do yours it’s harder to change if there is divorce or separation later and you have seperate last names. I’m not sure about you but travelling on flights can be a nightmare with diff last names if it’s auto seating
Do yours it’s harder to change if there is divorce or separation later and you have seperate last names. I’m not sure about you but travelling has caused us issues with diff last names Pre marriage and school hospital etc easier to have been in mine.
Please, I implore you ladies, question yourselves, ask yourself why and to determine if something is equal, do a roll reversal and see how the other half like it
Get married if you must, but keep your own name! You’re not his property, and neither are the kids!
My kids have my husbands surname and my name as a second middle name. We weren’t married at the time they were born so had many a discussion about which surname they would take. We decided for them to take my husband’s name as hubby as two sisters and a brother, his sisters kids have their husbands surnames and his brother doesn’t want kids. Hubby’s dad is an only child so our kids were the only chance for the surname to continue on where as I have a brother who has passed on our surname to his kids so it only seemed fair.
When or first son was born, me and my baby’s father were not in a good place, relationship wise. I wasn’t sure he was going to stick around so our first born had my surname. My partner wasn’t happy about it but accepted it. Anyway, long story short, 5 years later, our relationship is stronger than ever and we have now had a second little boy. I wanted our second born to have his fathers surname, so I filled in the paperwork with Births Death and Marriages to have our first sons surname changed to his dads too, so the brothers would have the same surname.
Whatever u decide to do, make sure u have your reasons. I actually copped a lot of questioning and odd looks from people in those 5 years my son had my surname. My own cousin said to me she believed my son should have his fathers surname or else it makes him a bastard child. I know right, hmmm! Anyway! I know a friend of mine hyphenated her surname and her boyfriends surname and worked well for them.
Best of luck. Xo
19 Replies
His
4 kids and none have got my last name, oldest three have their dads last name and youngest has his dads last name. You can give it what ever you want doesn't even have to be a last name either of you have the two of you can create a whole new last name for your baby.
His
My son took my name. I knew there was a high chance dad would do a runner (he'd run twice during the pregnancy).
I did the right thing. My thinking is it's easy to change a child's name to dads name if he stayed in the picture, it's terrible difficult getting it changed to mine if dad ran.
Both, hyphenated.
If he wants to be involved I would do his name. If he ran I would use mine.
His, but as a suggestion if your last name is Lee you can give it as a middle name to all your kids given it’s a simple unisex name
Mine
If you plan on being primary carer then make it the same as yours or youll regret it.
If you plan on marrying him do it now otherwise change the childs name if/when you change yours.
Both of my sons who have different fathers have their fathers last name
Do yours it’s harder to change if there is divorce or separation later and you have seperate last names. I’m not sure about you but travelling on flights can be a nightmare with diff last names if it’s auto seating
Do yours it’s harder to change if there is divorce or separation later and you have seperate last names. I’m not sure about you but travelling has caused us issues with diff last names Pre marriage and school hospital etc easier to have been in mine.
His, there was no talking about it, I didn’t have any say in it whatsoever!
Mine...
Eventually he admitted that it was cos he hated his family and wanted to take my surname after marriage.
His- We would get married at some stage.
My last name was already hyphenated, plus I liked his last name better.
We did get married and all is well.
The bullshit patriarchy still dictates the kids get the father’s surname most often, but please please consider giving them yours or a combo!
Where are all the feminists? 🤦♀️
Please, I implore you ladies, question yourselves, ask yourself why and to determine if something is equal, do a roll reversal and see how the other half like it
Get married if you must, but keep your own name! You’re not his property, and neither are the kids!
My kids have my husbands surname and my name as a second middle name. We weren’t married at the time they were born so had many a discussion about which surname they would take. We decided for them to take my husband’s name as hubby as two sisters and a brother, his sisters kids have their husbands surnames and his brother doesn’t want kids. Hubby’s dad is an only child so our kids were the only chance for the surname to continue on where as I have a brother who has passed on our surname to his kids so it only seemed fair.
When or first son was born, me and my baby’s father were not in a good place, relationship wise. I wasn’t sure he was going to stick around so our first born had my surname. My partner wasn’t happy about it but accepted it. Anyway, long story short, 5 years later, our relationship is stronger than ever and we have now had a second little boy. I wanted our second born to have his fathers surname, so I filled in the paperwork with Births Death and Marriages to have our first sons surname changed to his dads too, so the brothers would have the same surname.
Whatever u decide to do, make sure u have your reasons. I actually copped a lot of questioning and odd looks from people in those 5 years my son had my surname. My own cousin said to me she believed my son should have his fathers surname or else it makes him a bastard child. I know right, hmmm! Anyway! I know a friend of mine hyphenated her surname and her boyfriends surname and worked well for them.
Best of luck. Xo