Hi ladies!
I'm not sure if it's hormones making this situation seem worse that it really is or not but it's bugging me.
Bit of a back story- I've had reproductive issues for last 4 years or so and was incredibly Lucky to be blessed with a beautiful baby girl. Before we even started ttc her, my partner and I had a list of dream baby names. Our daughter got one of those names.
Fast forward two years and after 12 months of trying we have been blessed with another bundle (Im 17.5 weeks and booked in for my scan in a week and a half's time!)
Now a lady I used to work with has a daughter a few months younger than mine and she named her daughter something very similar to ours. Now shes pregnant again (19 weeks) and she just found that she's having a baby boy! She told me the name she had picked for him as her first choice and it just so happens that it is our 1St choice also.
While I don't have a good friendship (our girls have had a few play dates and catch ups- but don't really get together often) I feel like I shouldn't name our baby the same name.
This lady is quite competitive, often it feels like she's intentionally trying to play keeping up with the Joneses.
I know we haven't found out the gender of our baby yet but I still feel this way. Im excited for her because every new life is worth celebrating.
I feel awful that I can't move past it because it seems so trivial.
Can you ladies help me? Have you been in similar situation? How did it end?
Is it just my hormones making me feel like it's a big deal when it's not?
8 Replies
Honestly, if she's not a good friend or family member I wouldn't worry about having the same name!
Someone in my coffee group named their next baby my sons first and second name which was a bit weird but didn't really bother me that much!
You have to live with your babies name forever, make it one you love, regardless of who else has it!
Name your baby whatever you like. Just laugh about it and say you always had that name as your number one pick. If she does actually care... who cares? If it were your best friend... or relative... then I wouldn't say this. As I think there's an unspoken rule of '1st dibs' on names with very close people in your life.
Immediate Family and close friends you don't use the same names but for acquaintances, ppl u only see every now and then it's completely fine.
My hubby's mate (his best man at our wedding) named their daughter the same name as our 2nd child (who was 2 at the time. We didn't have a problem with it at all. Granted we don't see them as much as we used to (pre kids) but they live 45mins away now so we can't catch up as often as we like. It can get a bit confusing at catch ups but it's totally fine with us. I find it quite an honor that ppl pick the same name, must mean it's a good one.
You name your baby whatever the hell you want. Who cares who else used the name.
In our family there are two charlottes, two Patricia's, two Katherine's etc etc
Nobody cares! It doesn't cause any issues. Nobody owns a name, and you can guarantee at some time in your child's life they are going to come across someone with the same or similar name.
I named my son and a friend named there dog the same thing. We laughed and moved on.
Some ppl can care, depends on the person.
My sister was pretty shitty at me for naming my daughters middle name the same name as her daughter's middle name (her DD is 11yrs older than mine) this name is our mums name, so I think it's fair game, just cuz she had kids first doesn't give her dibs on family names. Even her daughter is stil shitty at me 4yrs on cuz I stole her name. Apparently you aren't supposed to share names, which is a crock of shit. When I told them the name the then 11yr old was cranky and was told by sister (her mum), "don't worry you had the name first".
I couldn't believe it.
Mum was stoked that she had 2 grandchildren with her name as a middle name. My mother in law also has 2 grandchildren with her name as a middle name yet no one has an issue. Just my crappy family. Actually my other sisters are cool with it just that one particular one.
I think you name your child whatever you want. Your child lives with that their whole life, other people with the same or similar name will come and go, or come and stay, and so what. It's not a big deal.
I honestly think nobody else cares, the issue is only with the mothers, if they make one.
One of my very close friends called her baby the same as mine. We both had no idea that we had picked the same name until i had my bub (she was about 5 months when i had my bub) and announced the name. We talked about her and her partner having this name picked also and i was totally fine with it as was she. I think its pretty special. Great story to tell later in life. We live in different towns so only get together a few times a year.
My brother and his fiancée have given their son pretty much the same name as my son. Their kid has a shortened version of my sons first name for eg so as not to use real names Matthew and matt. Their middle names are also the same. That bugged me and my partner and our son. I don't have an issue so much with the middle name as it is after our deceased brother. Only saving grace is that my son never ever gets the shortened version and never will. From us anyhow.