Not for Facebook please.
How do you become satisfied with your house and happy with the overall appearance of it? I hate our house, I know it’s terrible of me but I really dislike it.
We built it as first home owners and had no support from the builder in terms of colour selections and they didn’t really give great advice. So our carpet, floorboards, fixtures and everything else are all just so mismatched. We can’t change certain things which would make it more aesthetically pleasing because it would be a massively expensive job to do and for a brand new home, it just isn’t worthwhile.
We had a plan to live here X amount of time and we’ve made it to 70% of that agreed time, but financially we can now move and we probably need to as we have little room for anything anymore now that our family has grown. But my partner is adamant that we can’t move just yet because we need to see out the agreed time.
I’ve tried styling and decorating but it just doesn’t have the appeal like I hoped for. I’m struggling to live here and be happy, I feel forever down and like all I do is clean and pour money into a home that I have no connection to.
Yes I know first world problem and I should be thankful for the roof over my head, and trust me I’m grateful that I’ve worked hard to get to this point in my life but this is seriously affecting my mental health on a daily basis.
8 Replies
Personally I think it would be in your best interest to at least start updating these things. When it comes to selling the house, it will add value to the property.
You say that financially you can afford to move, why not invest that money into starting some renovations to make that property desirable for future purchasers.
If you don’t like your house, update it. If it is genuinely unattractive people will give you low ball offers on the basis they have to make lots of changes and people who are adverse to updating themselves won’t even look at it.
I’d get a colour consultant in. You might find it’s not as expensive to improve as you think.
Just to add to it - we’ve had it appraised by numerous banks and agents and all have said it looks great but it’s within myself that I’m not happy with it. They don’t think changing anything is going to add any value or desire to the house so putting the funds to change it won’t be of any benefit financially for the future sale.
So it’s not the house that’s the problem? Do you have a mental health professional to talk to?
Are you hyper-focusing on it? Are you a perfectionist? And will anything you do live up to your expectations?
I hope this doesn't come across wrong, purely because I'm struggling to really empathise with your problem at the moment.
I can understand that putting so much time, effort and money into your first home build only to end up with a disappointing result would be hard to cop on the chin but I do think you may just need a healthy dose of perspective.
You have a functional house.
There's nothing particularly wrong with it, it's just not to your taste.
It's not your forever home, you only have to stay there for a little while longer. Even if you can afford to move right now, don't you think it's a little bit silly to do so in the middle of a world wide crisis just because your house is ugly?
I think it also might be time to talk to a professional about your mental health too, I can't help but feel like this goes deeper than just disliking or not feeling a "connection" your house. I'd worry that moving to a nice new pretty house is just going to be a band aid fix!
I totally agree with this post. The colour scheme of your house shouldn't be affecting your mental health on a daily basis. As for the cost I tin of paint and some cheap paint brushes shouldn't break the bank and also shouldn't be enough to prevent you doing it because 'it wont add value', so I feel like there is definitely more to this than the appearance of your house.
The part I noticed was 'I'm really grateful I worked hard to get this' not just grateful for it. That's not actual gratitude, that's earning something, which is feeling entitled. I get that you feel disappointment and resentment over what you got, but there are many positives that you could try to see. Try again at being truly grateful for it.
I totally understand. I have had similar feelings and it is part of my OCD. Not the fact I am ungrateful or lack perspective.
At times I can struggle with the compolsion to declutter (it's really consuming) and over the years, if we aren't in a house (note: that I've only ever rented and never built my own) that has had enough space for storage or we've out grown it, I literally feel like I am suffocating.
I don't think mine is so much about the look of the house... although it is a massive part. But it's about the amount of STUFF we have and whether I can make it look bare and minimal.. other wise my head it too over loaded if I can see too many things/possessions.
I don't have an answer for you because my problem is a little different. But maybe there is a deeper underlying issue for you like there is mine with OCD.
But if I were you, I would sit down with your hubby and decide if he will move or if not, if you can start renovating some stuff. I keep on top of my OCD mostly at the moment but it definitely is at its worst around Christmas time for obvious reasons: we get so many gifts and are storing hidden gifts ect ect