I know this may be a touchy subject and I write this disgusted and very disappointed in myself. I recently fell pregnant after not preventing it but not planning it either but when the positive test came back my partner flipped out he abused me and over a course of weeks of saying I could do it on my own he didnt want to hear it and forced me to have an abortion he came to my appointments just so I couldnt tell anyone that this isn't what I want, a couple days ago I took 1 tablet infront of the doctor and today took 4 tablets together which induced a miscarriage I can't stop crying because I cried in front of my partner he has taken our kids away untill Monday night because I am not doing what I'm told. I dont know what to do, he has all of our money and both our kids so I cant leave, I cant stop whats happening to my body I have absolutely no control of whats going on and I don't know how to fix it. I dont even know what I am asking but any advice on what to do would be great.
10 Replies
Hi love, while hes away get yourself into see a gp or call your local womens dv service. Speak to someone on the phone so you know where you are going and if you cant get there they will help you get there. Its really important. You can use this time, even though you might not feeling like getting out of bed, please please make the phone calls and establish a connection and a plan before he gets back.
While he is away call a domestic violence support group. They can help you take steps to end this relationship. It might not be immediate but they can help you make a plan to get you and your kids away safely.
I would wait u til he returns. I would be "compliant" then when he leaves...BAM I'd be straight down to the police station with my babies and I'd tell them everything ! Get a DVO in place for you and your children. The police will help with the rest.
Kelly here - from The Imperfect Mum team,
I've posted your question early in the line because I believe you need help asap.
https://www.facebook.com/Theimperfectmum/posts/1675945212472102
I hope the responses help you
xKelly
Really hope she gets out with the kids asap. Please let us know that they are ok.
Hey honey I'm so sorry this has happened to you.
You are going through some horrible trauma. Amd i wish i could hold yupu and take it all away :(
Please call 1800 RESPECT and let them help you. Help put you in contact with services that can help. Alternatively you can go to police, ask to speak to someone in the family violence unit, (if your local police station has one) and they can also put you in touch with services that can help and hopefully they can put in an intervention order in place especially if your concerned for your and your children's safety when you leave.
Pack your bags, pack some bags for your kids and the first moment you get, leave! Do you have any friends or family in the area that you cohld temporarily stay with?
The money thing will sort itself out.
Definitely get out of there. Even knock on a neighbours door & ask to use their phone if you need to. There are lots of great contact info and suggestions here, Friends with Dignity are another help service that can get you sorted out with somewhere to live & put you in touch with the right services. They can help get you & your kids or safely without him knowing.
I also have to say whoever provided your medical service had not done their job, your partner should have been asked to leave the room while the dr 'ticked off' that this was your decision and that you were not being bullied. You should have been given an opportunity to let them know without fear or threat. This is not your fault, but don't live with these conditions any longer. Get yourself & your kids out now.
Hey, has someone from adv service reached out to you yet?
If not, what state do you live in?
I'm a family violence case manager in Victoria. I would like to try to help if i can. If you're on Facebook my name is tanoshi ningen add me as a friend and we can chat privately if you wish.
He came back the same night I posted this and took my phone car keys and wallet, he said he wants me to calm down and realise this is for the best before i take off saying he is crazy. He has only just given my phone back because my mum called constantly and then she called him. He lied to my mum on the phone. He says some people just cant manage their own life without help and thats why he is doing this one half of me thinks it could be true but the other half thinks he is trying to mess with my head and make me think I will fail without him.
If he goes to work tomorow I will call for help. My closest neighbor is a couple kms away because we live very rural and they are old people i doubt they would want to get involved with a mess like this.
Hi IM's poster here, I am in a little better place now, I had retained placenta for 6 weeks and started to go septic because my gp and the doctor who gave the pills ignored me for weeks, I finally got the emergency doctor to listen to me. As I got referrals to get it sorted my 'partner' ended up sick and on life support so I waited on a call to say he will be OK which come but with that came him saying he hated me and is kicking me out so I have found a house but I have no money for bond but I am trying to get help for that. All I did was try to keep him happy and even tho i am fighting my own mind I hate myself for not doing enough to please him.