Hi ladies. My kids who are 10 and 12 have started to not want to visit their dad on the weekends. He has been abusive yelling in the past and drinks a lot. He is threatening me with lawyers now because they don’t want to go. I don’t force them but I give them the choice. I don’t want to give them anxiety or mental health issues by forcing them to go when I am their safe space. I hate that they don’t want to see their dad I think it’s important but he doesn’t see how his actions maybe contributed to them not wanting to go. Has anyone been through this? Will courts make them go even though they clearly suffer mentally from this? They are in counselling but I’m unsure how long or how they will get to the bottom of the issue. I was put into counselling as a child when the problem wasn’t me it was my parents who needed counselling. So I’m worried I’m not doing them any good there either. Please help any kind advice welcome thank you
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Because of the kids ages they will likely get an icl, an independent children lawyer. That gives the kids the chance to speak their wants and needs. I suggest getting in first with court action. You can also suggest a clinician review. That will go a long way into looking deep into the family dynamics. It's a court based psych who does an interview with every one involved.