My husband suffers with mental health issues, I struggle with how to help him. He usually shuts himself out to me, doesn't talk to me or when he does he can be moody, snappy or quite mean with his words. If he needs to talk to me he will text me even though we are in same house. If I ask him something he will just shrug or if I message him something he doesn't reply. He will sleep in spare room. He will sometimes eat dinner I cook for him, otherwise he will get his own even though he knows I am cooking it. He says he thinks he might be bipolar but won't go see anyone about it. He makes comment about the stigma of mental health & how it has to change but I am really unsure how he means. I want to help him but it is tough being with him at times. I don't really know what I am asking, just maybe some understand maybe from anyone who has been through mental health issues, how did you get through it, what support did you get or would have liked to have received.
How to help someone with mental health issues
How to help someone with mental health issues
Posted in:
Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Men's Business
11 Replies
Book an appointment and just take him with you. Tell him you have made the appointment for the Dr to get a referal. It’s affecting you and you both need to go see a professional. Or book for yourself and go see someone and they may get him into one of your appointments. It’s so common these days. People are very open about it , compared to back in the day, which helps so much. He will feel better once he makes the first visit.
He has been battling with his mental health for the past 13 years, I have tried multiple times over the years to get him to see a psychologist or a counsellor, he went to a couple of appointments but said they were a waste of time. I do speak with a counsellor re my mental health. I even thought if he saw me put a few changes in for me from these appointments then he may go, but no.
I think medication then, it will definitely help. You might need to give him a scare and tell him you will leave if he doesn’t get some help, either medication or psychologist. I think medication.
Drs and medication. Medication and psychologist has been amazing for me. Forget the stigma.I don’t know many people who aren’t affected by mental health today. Keep communication open weather he wants to talk about it or not. Keep speaking of it, like it’s the norm. Open and he will listen. Be supportive but not pushy. Ring beyond blue for some advice.
Thank you for your reply. He is on medication & has been for approx 13 years, he very rarely takes it now, he thinks he doesn't need it, then when he does take it he can take a few days amount at once. He thinks psychologists are useless & a waste of time. I have suggested he even try reaching out to project blokes or beyond blue. I say I am here if he wants to talk. Says he doesn't want to talk to me as I have no idea of mental illnesses.
Oh dear. He needs to take it.
13 years is a long time, not a great way to live.
Give yourself permission to leave if you want to, we only get one life.
I have a family member with bi-polar, I get it.
You can't help him. This is all on him. If he doesn't want to get help that is his problem.
The only thing you can decide when enough is enough. You shouldn't live like this because it's not living it's survival. Frankly what he is doing is abuse. He knows he has a problem he knows he needs help and yet he refuses and forces you to live with his shitty choices. Time for him to man up or get out.
Unpopular opinion here - If he has seen people and been prescribed medication, and is aware his behaviour and mental health is not were it should be, however fails to talk to the right people who can change meds and support the process to get him to a better place. You DO NOT have to remain his punching bag. This is you being abused by someone using a bad self diagnosis and medically defiant attitude. Straighten your crown and look after you and the family. He has to want better for himself. Time to really look after yourself
Ask him what is more important that his wife / family. This was my ex and in the end (we have a amicable relationship) me and his parents convinced him to admit himself to the hospital (that deals exclusively in mental health) for a 2 week stay. If he didn’t agree we would have done an involuntary admission. He needed help but needed us to help him see that. It’s hard but by allowing this to go on you are enabling. Tell him je has to go with you to a good GP or psychiatrist and talk about this. It’s not fair on you or him. He doesn’t have to tell anyone, just say there is a family emergency and he has to go away for a couple of weeks to deal with it (not a lie at all). He needs assessment and medication. He will be so much better for it
I know exactly how you feel! I’ve been with my husband for 17 years.. I’m sure he’s bipolar and severely depressed.. I don’t want to leave him.. and most of the time he’s a normal wonderful husband.. and my best friend.. but when he’s in the depressed cycle.. his moods run in cycles.. manic.. severely depressed.. “normal”.. lots of years have taught me I can’t help him.. I just need to leave him alone.. give him space and he will come out of it.. it’s when I try to force him to talk during this time that he can be mean.. so I just leave him.. it took me years to see the different cycles and learn best to deal with them.. I don’t take it personally anymore.. he also will not get help.. he has just started to talk about it with me.. he always tells me that psychology is a myth and that’s been proven.. I don’t argue.. a big symptom of bipolar is extreme paranoia.. when he’s depressed I just go on living my life.. I used to see a therapist who helped me immensely during the process.. I believe you do have to make a choice.. and you are entitled to a life free of the abuse you have been getting.. but if you decide to stay that’s your choice too.. there are lots of online support groups for partners of people with bipolar.. even ones that refuse to get help and chose to not be medicated.. good luck!