Son gotten into trouble

Anonymous

Son gotten into trouble

**not for Facebook**
Hoping to get actual helpful comments on this.
My teenage son has been charged with indecent assualt. He was at a shopping centre and squeezed a girl on the bum while walking past (she made a complaint and it was caught on camera). He has to attend court. Son is a young teen.
So far I have got him into counselling, spoken to him myself why he did this (not really an answer from him other than it was a dumb thing to do).
I guess I have a few questions and hoping for some helpful answers.
Has anyone been through this and know what the outcome was?
Any ideas how I can help him? (other than counselling). He knows it was wrong, is remorseful and would never do it again. He is pleading guilty in court. He isn't taking drugs or drinking (has been drug tested by police after advice from CPS).
How do I stop feeling like a shit parent as I honestly don't know where that behaviour came from?
And anything else helpful?
Hormones are obviously a factor being a young teenager going through puberty but that doesn't excuse the behaviour. I'm pretty broken as a parent
Thanks

Posted in:  Parenthood Guilt, Behaviour, Teenagers, Tips and Advice, Dating & Sex, Puberty

4 Replies

Anonymous

who are his male role models?
how do they behave?
i would look at that.
sorry you are going through this x

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Anonymous

As far as the court case goes, if you haven't already get a lawyer. I think you've done the right thing by getting him counseling as it shows a desire to learn/change.

As far as you being a shit parent, please don't be so hard on yourself! You wernt there actively encouraging him to do it. It was a stupid mistake made by a young man who will (hopefully) learn a lot from this. Just have conversations with him about what is appropriate with women and talk about consent. You are not a shit parent, because a shit parent wouldn't care, and you do.
Is your son ok? I imagine it must be embarrassing for him. Please reassure him that you love him and this one action won't ruin his life, as long as he learns from it.

I think you are taking all the right steps, and I would imagine your son won't end up with too much punishment as he is a minor.

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Anonymous

He acted on impulse and I doubt he thought it was harmful because I doubt he really thought about it first. You aren't a bad mum. He's learnt a lesson and he'll probably be a better person for it. Get a lawyer so this doesn't follow him.

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Anonymous

He made a mistake and he is owning it. Which is more than I can say for alot of other people. He can express that he wants to make a formal apology to the girl involved but only if she feels safe enough to hear it.

Do not let this become the whole focus of who he is as a person. Make sure he is still doing things and you have not all put your lives on hold.

If it were my son, I would tell him he made a silly mistake and this is the opportunity for him to learn from it. Then I would remind him that there are many good things about him and that once this is over, that's what we want other people to see more of.

Allow him to make amends either to her or by completing good deeds for others.

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