If you were a first time parent, and strangers were giving you advice on bub (like when you swaddle make sure bubs knees can bow out to minimize the risk of hip displacia or burping/feeding tips to release gas and stop them from sucking air from the bottle) would you be offended?
13 Replies
Nah. Just say "thanks" and ignore it (unless you feel like it's good advice) it happens to all of us!
It's irritating no doubt, but the best thing is to just smile and accept the advice graciously with an internal eyeroll rather than getting offended (unless it is blatantly rude, then I will bluntly tell the person there advice is unneeded).
However, if you're the one giving the advice, it is worth considering how it'll be received. It's easy to come off as condescending and patronizing when giving unsolicited advice to a new mum, as well meaning you may be!
(Edit: second paragraph is not aimed at you specifically, just people who do that in general).
I’ve always felt like that’s what my maternal child health nurse was for, and she would give me all those types of tips and advice because I loved her and visited her a lot. So any advice I got from other people annoyed me because I’d already heard it.
Not everyone has a good heath nurse though or not everyone visits theirs as often so some people would generally not know those types of things.
I think people only give those types of advice out of the goodness of their heart though, even if it’s a piss off and unwanted... they generally only mean good. Take it with a grain of salt if it’s something that doesn’t concern you, or do your own reasearch about the topics and come up with your own opinion. But I don’t think its all bad.
Depends... too much is so bloody annoying. Building parents confidence is way more important than any technique and unrequested advice can be received badly. Ask first if they want advice or have heard any advice first.
Oh I just read from strangers!!! Oh dear. It's usually not cool at all... Oh whats this a stranger coming to say something I wonder what it could oh shes telling me Im doing xyz wrong with the baby bottle/ burping/ carrier. 😒😒😒🖕🖕🖕
you would need a really great and caring demeanour to pull it off.
I got it all the time. Honestly, they usually just wanted to look at the baby and were chatting innocently based on something their baby struggled with to be kind (I. E. Tummy pain from wind etc). I just smiled and said I'd keep it in mind if it became an issue.
I usually just politely listen and if it's good info I use it if it's crap then I dont
My eldest is nearly 20 and this was happening all the way back then and even my grandmother had stories of advice from strangers while out and about with her kids. It's really not worth getting offended over it, babies attract little old ladies from everywhere who love to pass on their advice. Some of it is actually good😂 . Just smile and say thankyou, or she's fine and continue on with your day. Lifes too short to get offended over the little things in life.
Perfectly normal. Just say 'yep, the health nurses and GPs offer so much support and education these days you're feeling very comfortable' or 'thank you... Having a baby for the first time could be overwhelming and you're so pleased you have so many experienced women around you for support'. Then politely excuse yourself eg. 'anyway, have a great day. We better head so this little one can get home and have a sleep' or something similar.
Are you kidding - accept all with a smile. You never know when someone may just give you a trick or tip that is gold and life changing! Unless your perfect and know it all!! 🤦🏼♀️
Except when you're in the supermarket checkout with a screaming infant for example and some person comes over giving you advice about how to settle the baby, when you know all baby wants is a feed and to get the hell out of the supermarket - the last thing you feel like doing is smiling and accepting their advice, even though that's what most of us do just for the sake of politeness!
It's not about being perfect and knowing everything, it's about wanting to be left alone by strangers.
There's no point being offended but it's fairly normal to be annoyed by it!
Develop a thick skin because it doesn’t just happen when they are babies. Take it with a grain of salt and don’t waste emotion getting upset about it
There's no point in being offended cos it'll happen anyway.
Just smile and nod and walk away.