Hi mummies. Hopefully someone can help me. Ive been in a relationship for 7 years. He cheated and left. I've been a mum for 10 years. Everything I've done has been for other people.
So now there is me. People keep telling me to do things that I enjoy but i honestly couldn't tell you what they were.
I'm not looking for religion (no offense to those that find comfort that way) but any ideas on how to be me again? Any tips or hints that worked for you?
How to find myself?
How to find myself?
Posted in:
Mental Health, Self Care
3 Replies
If you don't know what you like book in time to try new things.
Simple things like going to the library and looking for a book in a section you normally wouldn't visit.
Read online photography blogs, pages etc and test out the tips with just your smartphone.
Type a band or song you like into youtube and see what the right hand panel brings up as recommendations for you.
Check the letters/booklets/pamphlets etc the council sends out, ours lists group activities, free events and solo things to do, places to see (nature walks etc).
Join taste.com and make something you normally wouldn't try.
Try a sport, or a hobby group (there is a group for everything just about) like an art group etc.
Do free online courses (futurelearn is the one I like).
Plant a small vegie garden to tend.
Volunteer locally, deliver meals on wheels, visit the nursing home with a smile and a bottle of nail polish to give some lucky lady a hand makeover, at the RSPCA or even reading at the primary school for storytime so the teacher and teacher aide have time for other tasks.
My things (and the above reflects my interests so they are just ideas) are;
Reading. A great book, better yet a great series! Currently reading The Wheel of Time series. A snuggly robe, cup of chai tea or even the book and a hot bath.
Photography. I spent $1500 on a reasonably good camera and multi lens pack, did an introductory tafe course and joined an online photography group to show off my snaps. I take my camera most places on the off chance there will be a great shot.
Music. I love music and the soundtrack to my life is certainly not the sound of silence. The only thing I love more than a good album is a good gig. I've started going on my own when no one else wants to come with me and this year, I went to one in the city on my own. Previously I just went alone to local ones.
Art. I have an easel, a folio of various papers and a motley jumble of pastels and charcoals. I love to draw.
Courses. I also love to learn and as mentioned futurelearn is great for short free online courses. I'm a little time poor so it doesn't get the attention it deserves (when I have to share my spare time with my other likes) but I still like it.
Gardening. I suck at it, I really do but my thumbs aren't as black as they used to be. Some things are living.
Just a few ideas :)
Anything you did growing up? I recently joined a community band. My anxiety was through the roof and after 2 years of telling myself I never liked music that much anyway, I made the decision to go... But bailed the first week and felt physically ill the second week before I arrived. Once I got there though, I felt like me. Like the 20 years ago me and I love it! It surprised me because I always said I only played an instrument to make my mum happy. I'm also learning to ride a motorbike (always wanted to do that). So.... Try an old hobby you let slip away or a brand new one.
Time to try some new things and not feel guilty about it.
Go to the gym and try a class, start swimming, enroll in a course. Either to re-educate or for fun. You'll find yourself mumma.... start looking. I bet she's amazing!!