I’m a single mother to a 7 year old boy and I’m 24 years old. I’m currently dating someone who is 15 years older than me (39), we’ve been together for over a year and recently he told me that he wanted kids. I told him that I’m happy to have another child, but not now as I left my career as a hairdresser to go back to studies to change my career to become a veterinarian and I just don’t know what to do cause I understand that his clock is ticking, but at the same time I don’t want to go back to uni when I’m older ..
Should I focus on my new career or start a family?
Should I focus on my new career or start a family?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Self Care, Education, Pregnancy, Kids
7 Replies
You’ve been together 12 months, give it some more time to ensure this relationship is genuinely going to last. It’s a big age gap and you can’t rush yourself because of his body clock (and quite frankly, his sperm isn’t going anywhere as it’s different to women!). Set yourself up for a career!!
12 months you shouldn’t even consider stopping your studies for a baby. It’s still a new relationship and it takes up to 2 years to really get to know a partner. All you need to know now is you both want more kids and that’s a totally normal conversation to have early in a relationship. That doesn’t mean, now. If he wants kids now and isn’t ready to wait, I’d see that as a warning sign. His biological clock isn’t ticking, he has many Years to procreate ahead of him.
Finish your uni, if he can’t wait, then he isn’t the guy for you. You are only in your 20s so have plenty of time.
It's a no brainer. His clocks is not ticking and it's NOT your fault. Never forget that it's your body that goes through it and it's most likely you that will be left holding the baby and with the disrupted lifestyle and study plans if the relationship falls through. Get your study done. Don't have a second baby with someone you've been with for one year AND already wants to disrupt your study. Does he not value that you're studying to be a vet at all?? And just as equally as he is on the upper side of parenting, you are only 24, and mid studying! Sounds like a trap to me, short-sighted, not thought through, selfish, lots of pressure, all about him.
Finish your studies!
You're still very young and you have another child to think of first.
Build your career then think of children!
If he's in a rush but you're not ready, maybe you're not compatible.
Finish your studies first love!!!
Wait. I am 25yo with a 5yo. My current partner and I have been together 18months. When we got together i said straight up I don’t want kids again. I knew he wanted some by 27. Two years down the track it’s changed I would have a child with him. But I’ve told him it’s when I’ve got my career I had to give it all up before he’s had his career and would be happy to stay home and play dad but I’m not having 9 months no work till I’m ready. I promised him before I’m 30 so max of 5 years been together. He got into the relationship knowing no kids maybe a future and he was welcome To not want a future with me if that was his deal breaker
The real question here is do you want another child????
Too early and he is a lot older. Focus on your career so you can support yourself and your child, then see what happens