Do you think most of the people you meet are destined to be conditional friends? for example, lets say you meet someone at work or at playgroup and get along with that person. More than likely if either one of you leave the workplace/playgroup then the friendship slowly ends.
The same applies for people from college, school, mothers group, gym, neighborhood, a hobby etc.. you end up building a friendship based on this thing you have in common but as soon as that thing does not exist then the friendship slowly fizzles out. It seems so superficial when you think about it...
Its kind of depressing thinking that this is the way it is for most humans,, like most friendships really are a bit fake if they are mainly based on something exterior such as a hobby, kids, workplace for them to exist or even keep going at all.
It does not make me motivated to meet or open up to people if I know in 3 or 4 years or whatever they’ll just leave...
Then there's the very few friendships that develop into, what I will call, real friendship because you stay in touch and mantain the closeness despite not having school, college, or a job in common anymore. But this is rare, very rare..
thoughts?
5 Replies
Agree, many don't call again, but I think its also important for your self esteem and memories to keep them in your mind as friends and be open to a catchup if it ever happens. It's also important as you never know which ones will stay the distance and become those really good friendships.
I totally agree. It makes me sad. I’ve grown away from a lot of my mum-friends now that our kids are 3+ and I struggle to maintain friendships heaps.
Wanna be friends? 😂
Me too. Let’s make a gang. Ha!
Some people come into our lives for a good time, not a long time!
It doesn't mean those friendships are meaningless or fake, I think life just takes people in different directions sometimes.
I like to look at it from the other perspective, rather than seeing it as a waste I just appreciate that that person was an important person in my life at that time.
That’s like saying ‘don’t fall in love, you might get your heart broken’. And that is pretty much inevitable. No risk, no reward. It’s called living a good life. Feel it all. Experience it all.
I’d suggest you find a good counselor to work on your fear of opening up/intimacy.
Being that I’m almost half a century old, I’ve had a lot of friends come and go over the years. I’m still making new friends as I grow and change, my kids are approaching adulthood, I am divorced, I try new things, experience life’s ups and a lot of downs. I enjoy meeting new people. But I also really enjoy my own company. I can have the most in-depth connections and conversations with people I barely know or who I might never see again. This happens because I do venture out on my own.
Human connection is essential. I don’t care with whom or how long for. Live in the moment, offer yourself up to the magic.