Hi
I've got 2 kiddies a 3 year old and 1 year old. I feel as though I've lost who I am over these years. I'm just a mum everything about me has gone from personal appearance to personality. My husband loves me for who I am no matter what and he has never said anything but I just don't see him looking at me the way he used to. I'm so lost in where to start in getting "me" back.
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4 Replies
What about carving out time for some hobbies you used to do pre kids. I also think putting time into old friendships and just generally making time without the kids is a good start. Just giving yourself even a few hours a week without the kids makes the world of difference. I found once I did that I immediately started taking an interest in my appearance more etc.
My kids are the same age. I'm not interested in leaving them for hobbies or my own interests because I suffer separation anxiety. I am just heading back to work which is helping me feel more human. Easing into it with just one day a week for a while, then I'll pick up another 2 days. That's definitely refreshing to leave the house without the kids, keep myself super busy at work, doing something different for a day and then knowing I've got the rest of the week with my kids.
But if the work thing isn't your thing, how about just spending some time on you. Take some time out when the kids go to bed, pluck your eye brows, watch some make up tutorials on YouTube and practice something new. Shave your legs, face masks, hair masks. It doesn't have to be huge, but a little bit of self love does really go a long way. Set one night a week to do something like this, it helps. I do a Thursday night, so I feel nice all weekend.
Maybe even organise to get your nails done. Work out a time every week where you can do the groceries while your husband is home. (That's actually been a life saver for me!! I've recently started doing our groceries on a Sunday while our kids nap and husband stays home with them! Who would have though groceries would have been so NICE ??)
So. Start with who are you?
Pre-kids I had a cheap Fujifilm point and shoot camera, a fourth hand kick ass twin tape deck stereo that rocked at creating my infamous mix-tapes that were rolled out at every party. I was a loner that was happiest wandering along an abandoned train line singing Alice In Chains and Nine Inch Nails songs. A wicked sense of humour that few got to see and a strong loyalty to those who are good to me.
Post kids I have a pretty good Canon DSLR and I take time every once in awhile to get some mad shots, I've even got some great pics on my way to and from work so I keep it in the car. I still have a rockin' stereo, well I guess so anyway since the cops have showed a few times to remind me to turn it down and I still have the same eclectic taste in music, I chuck my ipod on random and you can get anything from Otis Redding to Mozart to Michael Jackson to Pantera. I still make sure I fit in my alone time too, I can't be crowded all of the time. These all help me stay "me".
I'm not sure why mothers or fathers for that matter feel like they need to be the person they used to be...your not!! You chose to go on a new journey in your life..being a MUM..hardest job in the world but most gratifying...you need to get a mummy make over..prop yourself up and be empowered by the wonderful new person you are now!! Find a hobby or whatever you need to do that gives you some me time or couple time..your husband will see you as the beautiful wife and mother of his babies becuase he loves you!! The rest comes from your attitude within!
All the best to you Mumma!! Feel the power :)