Am I being stupid to not want to take my partner's last name when we get married next year due to his ex keeping his last name? She's a horrible person towards me, constantly bitches, whinges and makes up stories to her own liking of spinning the truth to her friends which conveniently gets back to me. I don't want any resemblance to her at all but she and I will have the exact same initials, so which K Anderson is the letter to go to if you know what I mean. I'm just in a pickle :(
4 Replies
I'd do it, I'd change my last name just to piss off the ex wife. Who knows she might go back to her maiden name eventually ?
I'm getting married next year and my fiances ex and I don't get along at all. My fiancé has asked me what I intend to do as she has kept his name.
I'm changing my surname. We don't have the same first initial though but it wouldn't matter if we did. I'm going to be proud to share my fiances name. Don't do it to spite anyone. Live your life.
Do what makes you happy ?
I don't understand what the big deal is. I didn't go back to my maiden name when I divorced. It wasn't to spite my ex husband or any future wife he may have, but because it is the same surname as my children. Some women go back to using maiden name, some don't.
I totally get where you're coming from.
On one hand I think why should I miss out on doing something that is important to me because she still has the same name. On the other, it makes my skin crawl knowing that we will have the same last name, I'm not family with her so why would I want the same last name?!
Then if we have kids why will I have the different name?
Do whatever sits right with you. If she wasn't in your life what would you do? That's what I ask myself because I don't feel like I should make decisions based on wants/needs/presence of that extra person in my life that I haven't chosen.
Name changing can be seen as dated and plenty of women keep their names after marriage. There is nothing wrong with either.
Do what sits right with you. This is your identity.