Please remember we both love each other and this is just due to stress I believe as we both work. I just want to know how other couples handle it.
I work 8- 9 hours and he works sometimes 14 hours sometimes he does like 5:30pm and either comes home at 2am or 4:30am a couple times 6am but not often. He works about 4-5 nights in the week.
I do all the cooking and cleaning sometimes I can procrastinate I do suffer from anxiety and depression.
I'll ask him to remind me about his washing as sometimes I forget and he gets mad at me.
I work from home so I can stay at home with the doggies as they get anxious when I go to the shops. I had to quit my other job as the dogs weren't copying and he was earning more.
He only has to watch them for a hour or two and most of the time he is so lazy with it. When he watched the dogs they get destructive and then I'm left to clean the mess.
He says I don't work as hard as he does and he makes more money and until I work as hard as he does and make more money then him then he won't help me in anyway shape or form is this fair?? He says it has to be 'His version of Fair & equality.'
He doesn't see my job as work yes I'm sitting down all day but I do get a sore back from it I don't have the greatest chair. When I finish work I feel so drained from looking at screens all day but I still clean and cook when I can I work 5 days a week normal business hours.
I don't ask him for much just to watch the dogs when I go out and to remind me and maybe not to throw his clothes on the couch and floor.
He also makes a mess with rubbish in the kitchen and bedroom. I get it he's tired but I put rubbish bags around for him to put the rubbish in and all he has to do is put his bowl in the sink.
Am I asking for too much??
How do you guys balance your relationships with working crazy hours.
I'm a bit worried that if we have kids I'll be left to work and take care of them while he sits on the computer and games & works and that's it that's his life. I believe it should be a partnership helping each other.
Let me know your thoughts and any advice.
If I sound ridiculous please tell me I want hard honest opinions and advice.
Please remember he does work like crazy but I get tired and worn out as well.
I'm not the fittest person but I'm planning on hitting the gym soon and am working on my health.
How do you balance your relation ship when you both work full time hours +???
How do you balance your relation ship when you both work full time hours +???
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Men's Business, Relationships, Behaviour, Kids, Money
10 Replies
"until I work as hard as he does and make more money then him then he won't help me in anyway shape or form"
If this is your partner's attitude:
- he definitely DEFINITLY will not help with your future children.
- he doesn't believe it should be a partnership.
- he expects you to do everything around the house regardless of your other commitments
So basically this is who you've chosen to be with. He has told you straight his relationship values don't line up with yours, so the ball is really in your court whether you proceed to stay in a misogynistic relationship or move on.
P.s if you move on, I hope he enjoys washing his own bloody clothes.
This is not a guy you want to have kids with. This guy is awful!
You can do better!
It's his way or the highway.
Choose the highway.
I'm telling you now, love isn't enough. He's telling you that no matter what you do he's not coming to the party. You can mask the pain but it is a mask. The pain does resurface and each time it does you feel more and more unfulfilled. It leads to loneliness, anger, distrust. Don't do it to yourself "for love". His version of love is about his convenience, not your wellbeing.
My partner and I are both 24/7 shiftworkers, I have 8hr shifts in an office, his shifts are often 12 - 16hrs driving trucks. He earns way more than I do.
We split all bills and housework 50/50.
I probably do a bit more daily tidying up than he does, just because I have higher standards, but actual cleaning is split.
He pays for a full laundry service because he hates doing laundry, I do my own at home.
Honestly, your partner sounds like a pig.
"His version of fair and equal" - he can FRO with that.
I would be telling him to get his shit together or get the f out. A grown man who won't put his rubbish in the bin or plate in the sink?????
Seriously, I think he actually enjoys watching you run around being his own little maid service.
Do not breed with this man, for christ sake.
This is not love. Someone who loves you would treat you with care and kindness. Do not have children with this man. He is selfish and treats you like dirt. You're making too many excuses to allow someone to treat you this way. Stress is NOT an excuse to be a filthy pig and expect someone else to pick up after him. Time to reassess and move on.
Was there ever a period where he wasn’t like this? Or did you move in and become the maid?
My hubby can go though times (when his dad has visited) of wanting me to do all….its quickly snapped into shape.
I don’t think I have or will ever earn more money, but I am definitely not a slave.
I definitely do more around the house because I personally like my house presented my specific way.
But general picking up after him, nope.
Don't have kids with him!
Yep red flags for the future. It’s not a competition who works harder that’s childish of him you are his partner not his mother and you’re not asking for much either. Sorry hun that attitude of his I would leave and not have children with him he can’t look after dogs what do you think he’ll be like with a baby
And To add my husband is a baker so I get a shift worker partner is tough at times but that doesn’t give them the right to talk down to you and belittle you
Jesus Christ just leave him, biggest loser there is! I has a job I is king grovel at me feet. Imagine this with kids! Run baby run.
Ew. Please do not have children with this man! He’s not husband material let alone father material. He sounds like a pig of a man and you deserve better. YOU shouldn’t have to leave bags around the house for him to put his rubbish in… HE should know how to put rubbish in the one bin in the house. I’d get out. He ain’t going to change luv.