Hi Legends,
I'm asking for a friend of mine as she is so defeated and I have no experience in her situation to help!
Long story short her child's father is a bit of a dead beat, arrested this year for drugs, lives with parents, conspiracy theorist etc- has never paid a dime in child support.
She couldn't afford nor had the mental capacity to do court orders etc, when she left, so dad sees child weekly, and she has always remains civil. Does ok by herself and doesn't need the negativity.
Now the tricky bit! He doesn't want her to go to school! He wants her home schooled, however the mum has finally been able to do a 4 day working week if child is in school, and not be struggling to make ends meet.
He has basically threatened to take the child and not return her if she sends child to school.
She now needs to get a parenting order in place to stop this from happening but looks like a 6-12 months process - so no school this year!
Is this her only option, I feel sad for her that the child was so excited about school and now can't go?
I'm not sure if law differs stat to state, but we are QLD.
Thanks in advance
10 Replies
I don't know about the court side of things but for homeschooling to occur, the parent must apply for registration including a suitable curriculum/learning plan. There are then annual reporting requirements. Since it is mandatory for children to attend school, enrol the child as soon as possible so they are in the system. If the child is taken from primary caregiver, the child is still expected at school and police can be involved when education is withheld. From the info given it seems unlikely that the father would have the necessary skills and knowledge to be an approved homeschooler. Even though the court process may take some time, it is worth getting legal advice about how to manage the situation.
With a record like his, no one is going to listen. Tell her to start her in school as planned. I would be cutting ties with him and only have supervised visits. Please make sure there isn’t any other reasons why he doesn’t want that child in school. He may have some secrets he doesn’t want told!
He has been arrested he has no chance. She can go to school if the mother enrols her. I would be taking an avo on him. Start her in a school that he doesn’t know about.
Enrol her and tell the school that the child is not to leave with this man. She only puts her name on the enrolment. don’t tell him which school she attends and get the ball rolling with court. Do not hold this child off school. If anything hold her from him. It would take a long time if he bothered to even get access to her, if any.
No! She gets a dvo against him, let’s the school know, and it’s no contact with HIM for a year until HE gets the orders in place. And they’ll never let him choose to homeschool because he doesn’t have enough custody and he’s can’t choose that for your friend.
He’s threatened to take the child and run, that’s enough for her to order he has supervised visits. No more visits at all until he sorts it out through courts though. Get the dvo before you tell him, so if he arks up and tries anything he’s breaking the order.
She needs to get strong now to change the way it’s been, and set it up correctly, so she is rid of him and the stress this kind of thing brings with it. And she right to do it, and she needs to do it.
She can't withhold the child, well she can but it won't look good for her when it goes to court. She can enrol the child as she intended, if he still threatens to remove her she should be able to get a police order until you get court orders in place.
She absolutely can and it won’t look anyway, it’s perfectly ok to do while waiting for a plan, it’s the smart thing to do. Also, he’s said he’ll take the kid. So she should withhold in this case and it will not be held against her as it can’t be until a legal plan is in place to be broken.
Let me just say, that paranting plans and orders are literally not worth the paper they are printed on. Police can act on breaches, and requires recovery order via the federal courts to process them.
My kids, spent time with their mim for the first time unsupervised in 8 years. On her very first overnight, she with held, and it took 3 months to get them back. My kids less then a km away, and it took 2 federal recovery's to finally get the kids home.
PS due to COVID, just to do the plan, could take up to 2yrs and several mediations.
At the end of the day, shes his child as well and if he doesn’t feel comfy/safe at school he has a right to say so, and he sure as hell ain’t the only one refusing school, there’s plenty. This is what’s wrong with today, Mums just feel everything goes their way and dads don’t get a say. Good on him for standing up and doing what he feels is best for the child.
Any reasonable person would look at this and say that home-schooling due to "political" beliefs based on unfounded information is dangerous for a child. She can also say that she isn't in the position to home school. I consider myself a pretty intelligent person but there's no way I have the skills and knowledge to teach, because I'm not a teacher. I also wouldn't want to deprive my child of the social opportunities unless absolutely necessary.
If he says no school or he's abducting her, she can so no contact until at the very least there's consent orders. It's what is best for child.