Hello sisterhood,
Looking for advice on returning to work and getting support from my husband.
Due to recent financial troubles I’ve decided to return to work to contribute more to the household, I just don’t know where to start ! I’ve been a stay at home mother for close to 8 years, I have two kids under the age of 8,one with low-moderate special needs. I haven’t had a job since I was 19 and I’m close to turning 30.
I’m currently receiving government benefits for my children but I don’t want to always rely on that especially because it isn’t much at all. I dream of working in the education field but I’m happy to just wash dishes in a cafe kitchen if it means I’m contributing something to my family.
My husband isn’t supportive of me returning to work, he thinks childcare is just too expensive and I’d only be working to pay for childcare for our youngest child. Asking family to help out isn’t an option either as everyone in our family works but me, i’m usually the go to person to watch all the children while everyone else is at work.
How do I get myself back out into the workforce AND still manage my kids, a household and juggle after school/childcare for my kids?
And also help my husband to see that we will be in a better financial position in future if we both have jobs ?
7 Replies
If you're interested in education, look at teacher aide work. If you're children are at school, this can lessen the time needed for child care, especially if you work at their school. Some schools require TAFE qualifications, which you could commence while convincing your husband that it's a good idea. Approach the schools in your area, be willing to do some volunteer work to learn the ropes. Its true that returning to work you may only be paying for child care to start with but work will open up opportunities. Many children enjoy the socialising with other children and activities available at childcare. Working and contributing is important for mental health and it's great modelling for children to see parents working.
Crunch the, numbers. Write it all down, how much is the rebate, what payments do you loose. Base it on retail hourly rate, show him the numbers.
I think a practical approach is best. Work out the financials of earnings vs cost of working (child care etc.) & present that to him. If you find work in a school setting you'll have most school holidays at home so can reduce vacation care to minimum.
You'll need iron clad evidence he can't deny or shout down to get grudging support. I suspect his negative view is more about his comfort than cost. Right now you do everything & he knows he'll have to step up at home & do his share if you're working. I see this sooooo often!
That was my first thought, how much does he do at home?
How much does your husband do around the house and with the kids? Is it possible that he is using the cost of childcare as an excuse for not wanting you to work, as that will mean he has to do more at home? Would he agree to you doing weekend or evening/night shifts so that he’s home for the kids, eliminating the need for childcare? Start looking into childcare now as you may end up on a waiting list for a position. Contact Centrelink to find out what your rebate will be. Start looking to see what positions are available in your area. You need to do what will benefit you, first and foremost, then what works for your family.
What about family daycare?
Obviously there's some study and accreditation involved, centreline may even help you with the fees for cert 3 in childcare which is a great start! That kind of is a win win for you because you won't need daycare for your baby and there's definitely an early childhood education aspect. I know a lot of teachers who went down this path after having their own children because it offers a good balance.
Either way though, hubby needs to get on board which will mean him stepping up around the house/with the kids. I actually suspect that's where his lack of support comes from. Even if you are just working to pay daycare or to be slightly better off financially, it's good for you to have a foot in the employment door because the longer you're out of the workforce the harder it is to find your way back in (I say this as a stay at home mum of 14 years).
My partner worked days and I worked nights. This reduced time that we needed childcare despite both working fulltime, because it was only an hour a day our shifts overlapped we were able to have him stay with rellies.
We did this for 7 years. Then I was promoted and moved to early starts so my partner changed his hours so he could do school drop off and I was finished in time for afternoon pick up.
A year later I made management and could work the hours that suited me, as long as my work was done they didn't care when I did it. Ideally you could start at this point, but I'd not be where I am now without that initial 7 years of on floor experience so while it was tough at the time it certainly paid off.