How do I get my husband to communicate with me.

Anonymous

How do I get my husband to communicate with me.

Hi so we have been together 10 years and my husband has never been the best at communicating. In the past I accepted this, I was patient and tried everything I could to help him feel safe enough to express what he's feeling. But after having a child I don't feel like I am as patient. The progress is minimal and it's not working like this. I really want him to be able to tell me what he's feeling but instead he stops talking to me, storms out and when he's calmed down pretends like nothing has happened . I've suggested we do counselling and he says he will but I have my doubts. I'm currently pregnant with bub 2 and I'm scared to think of the future, because it's difficult to see a future with someone like this. He seems unhappy but would never tell me. He is a great dad. But as a partner my patience is wearing thin. I don't even know what I'm asking. I just feel like I'm at a loss.

2 Replies

Anonymous

Tell him he needs to go do his counselling otherwise you're going to be out. He's immature and you wont tolerate him behaving this way through his feelings forever. Especially with a child to deal with,you'll get tired of it quicker.
One thing you could do is set up a talk time for each day. Whether it's baby bath time, Your bedtime, but make ten minutes to check in and communicate each day. Bloody give him a script if he needs. Or sentence starters. Take turns to speak to each other. how are you feeling? How was today overall? Any things on your mind?

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Anonymous

maybe just let it go? if that's how he wants to handle things then just let him. my husband is the same, and it took me a while but I've learnt if he's shitty to just leave him be, and he's learnt if I'm shitty buy me flowers or show me that he cares somehow. Everyone's style is different and you'll be hard pressed to change someone. my only rule is that if he's shitty AT me, or because of something I've done, he has to let me know. not in the moment (because it's not his style) but sometime afterwards, so I can work on it. (it's also very rare that it's because of me, so that's a bonus)

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