Enabling partners and unhealthy food/alcohol behaviours

Anonymous

Enabling partners and unhealthy food/alcohol behaviours

Unhealthy eating/drinking and enabling partners!
I have an unhealthy relationship with food and have come to realize I probably have distorted eating (cycles of restrictive eating and then bingeing). It’s exhausting! I never seem to just be able to eat normally. I have been this way since early teenage years. I am now 46 and feel I have gotten worse particularly over the last couple of years with being diagnosed with gastritis, IBS, Lactose intolerance on an already gluten free diet due to coeliac (diagnosed at 31) and I have thyroid nodules and PCOS so it’s already hard to lose weight due to hormones. But I try. However lately I just feel overwhelmed. I honestly don’t know what I should be eating. On advice from gastro specialist I have tried FODMAP and elimination diets, low carb, high protein,etc. too many diets and restrictions. I generally have non-packaged foods when I am not bingeing, however I struggle everyday with the urge not to binge which is mainly due to my association with food, emotions and feeling restricted. My husband is supportive however he struggles with alcohol and is the same with alcohol as I am with food. We both try really hard but i have recognized our patterns of behaviour and if one of us is feeling emotional and then sometimes that is used as an excuse and the other ends up giving in and we both end up at the shops he for alcohol me for anything that is not allowed on whatever current restrictive diet I’m on and then for me that can be the start of a bingeing cycle that could last from a day to weeks whilst I beat myself up for failing yet another weight loss attempt. This doesn’t happen everyday or even every week but inevitably around the three week mark for me when I’m trying to be healthy it does. I am thinking of asking help from a eating disorder professional however I don’t know what to do. I’m feeling overwhelmed looking at the future and think how can we get out of this cycle of unhealthiness if we both cave in after awhile. How can I be successful if he is an enabler for me and is not prepared to seek professional help for his alcohol addiction. We have been together 20 years and have a beautiful family and life, other than these 2 major issues that need addressing which are behaviours that have been with us our whole relationship. Has anyone been successful addressing your own issue whilst your partner continues with his own unhealthy behaviours. Would me going to a professional give me some techniques to cope when he’s enabling?

Posted in:  Relationships & Marriage, Self Care, Health & Wellbeing

1 Replies

Anonymous

I’m sorry I don’t have any help to offer but I myself also go through a bingeing and restriction cycle but I don’t get to anywhere near the 3 week point. I barely even last a day. To the point I go out and buy all this food and then soon enough I am straight back to the rubbish. To the point I will drive out
Of my way daily to get it. I’m sorry you are going through similar and it is really exhausting xx

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