So it’s 3am in the morning and I am at work
I just started my swing back at the mines 2/1
I had a at home medical abortion over the weekend , I passed the baby on late Tuesday afternoon and is now Wednesday morning
I don’t know why I came to work , thought being around people would help me and I can’t afford not to work
I work the weird hours and now I’m all alone in my own head and hating on myself right now
I tried for years and years to get pregnant in my late 20 and 30’s again , I have a much older child ,
I have just left an abusive relationship and didn’t want this man in my life for the next forever
I didn’t plan on a baby , in fact I o
Honestly never thought could happen .
Was settled into my early 40’s mum of adult child and ready to tackle the next stage
I know I did the right thing , why doesn’t it feel like it ?
I just want my mum , she is in another country and I can’t see her
I just want the world to stop so I can please get off for a little while and cry and sleep and cry some more
Not a question just a vent
2 Replies
Be gentle on yourself.
Your hormones will be all over the place atm.
I had an abortion for the same reasons, desperately wanted a child but had just left an abusive relationship and did not want that life long connection with the ex, or my child to have such an awful father.
All i can say is when you have full clarity over why you left the relationship and you start to really see how better life is without the ex, you will forgive yourself for the abortion.
Its such a tricky collection of really tough things to try and work through.
Sometimes as adults we think we need to do things to stop ourselves feeling sad, feeling sad is an important part of healing and dealing with trauma.
Life gets better, reach out to your mum, even if its just through a phone call or video chat.