Homeless Teen

Anonymous

Homeless Teen

My teens friend has fallen out with her parents. After speaking with her things don't seem OK at her home.
She has been temporarily living with us for 1.5 weeks and now things have had time to calm down I have suggested she reconnects with her family and starts the process of returning home.
She seemed OK with that idea as she didn't want to overstay at my place.
This evening I discovered her quietly sobbing in the bedroom. She wants to go home to see her sibling, but her parents are still giving her grief and the impression they don't want her back. (I've seen the messages). I have only met her parents once and have no phone numbers and we're not fbk friends. I don't feel I can contact them myself to try and reason with them.
While she was with us, I made a gp appointment and got a mental health care plan in place, but apart from that I feel completely helpless sending her back to a negative environment.
She has no other family she can stay with. She is so intelligent, but completely broken.
I'm not her parent, but I also cannot let her feel like she is unwanted.
What do I do?
How do I help her and her family without over committing?
This is truly breaking my heart

Posted in:  Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Teenagers, Tips and Advice

7 Replies

Anonymous

Depends on the details for me. Why are they giving her a hard time? You’ve not given enough detail on what’s gotten them to this point.
Has she been causing problems at home? Do her parents have unrealistic expectation, are the abusive?

How old is she? She probably needs and appointment with a Centrelink social worker. You may need to speak to child protection.

like
Anonymous

How old is she? If over 16 she can leave and be independent, if under 16 she is her parents responsibility and if she won't return to them or they won't have her back you need to contact your states child safety department and report the situation and hopefully they give you advice on what to do next.

like
Anonymous

This sounds like me as a teen. My friends mum kept me and helped me get into a refuge and then into a transitional home. I never returned to the abusive family home. I’m now a fully functioning adult with my own home, a good job, a beautiful smart child and still no family except the adults who saved me.
Be the adult that saves her. You are doing everything right, just give her a safe place to be, get her in contact with youth services who can help her find housing that is suitable for her needs.

like
Anonymous

Keep her with you if you can. You are doing the right thing with a mental health plan. Contact centrelink and get her some assistance and keep her on the right track.

like
Victoria Crone

I’d be very concerned that the parents don’t know you and haven’t contacted you when she’s been with you for a week and a half. It’s difficult to understand the situation without more information but that is a red flag for me. I would want to know where my child was and who she was with. If she doesn’t have a loving and safe environment at home, I’d want to take her in but that will depend on your circumstances. Her sibling could visit at your house so they still, see each other. You could always ask her for the parents’ phone numbers and see if you can speak to them to let them know she’s safe and perhaps come to an arrangement for her to stay with their permission.

like
Anonymous

I have been in your position more times than I can count!
Definitely get in touch with her parents, whether they are shit people or not it’s the right thing to do as they have a right to know what is happening with their child.
If it turns out that the child cannot go home for whatever reasons, you will then need to contact child protection services and they will do an assessment.
It’s wonderful that you are being a support person for this child ❤️
Just keep in mind teenagers are crafty and will manipulate to their advantage.
If the child is going to live with you I have one piece of advice- set boundaries, rules and consequences from day dot. You don’t want to be taken advantage of.
Speaking from lots of experience!
(Mum of 6 and foster carer)

like
Anonymous

I've been this teen. The woman who took me in was actually an ex-boyfriends mum, and she tried to help me fix the issues with my dad. And he threw it back in her face and said the nastiest things about her. I went back home several times over the years, and often ended up back at hers, even after her son and I broke up. I'm in my mid 30s now, and I still call her my second mum. She was a godsend to me. She loved me when I was at my lowest, and showed me that I was valuable. And I don't know where I would be without her care. I don't know if you're able to be that person for her, but please don't completely abandon her. Put her in contact with FACS. Support her to find her own 2 feet. By 17 I lived on my own, because going home wasn't viable. I reconnected with my dad for many years, but now we're back to being strained. It's not always the teen being manipulative as ppl on this forum are suggesting. As I've grown and learnt, I've come to realise I was raised by a narcissistic, and while I was living how he wanted, things were fine, the moment I deviated from his line of thought, things get nasty... and it took my mum years to get out from under him... not soon enough to protect me from him... this woman showed me what unconditional love is... she gave me safety when no one else could. U dont have to involve yourself in this girls parents. My second mum didn't. She just showered me with love, told me I was wonderful, and helped me see my own path, and that I could choose it, and that it could be successful and filled with the joy I created. Good luck

like