Hi Sisters!
Just curious, is it out of the ordinary for a mum of 3 kids to work full time?
Recently we have moved towns and I am getting a lot of negative comments from people surprised that I work full time. The comments themselves don’t bother me, I just wonder if it’s out of the norm now? My kids are 9,5 and 2. The older 2 are at school and go to after school care and the 2 year old goes to daycare.
I do have to work but I also actually enjoy working. I know that it’s no ones business and these are our choices but it just seems to be every time I have a conversation with someone I don’t know they feel the need to judge me about not picking my kids up from school etc
Even our new school expects a lot, going to parades and things but most of those things aren’t doable for us. If it’s something special for my children I will take the time away from work but it seems there must be a lot of parents here that have dad working and mum tends to the children and is 100% available to their children’s school activities.
Just curious!
Thanks for your input 😁
24 Replies
I don’t think it’s out of the ordinary. Just like I think it’s perfectly normal to work part time and be a SAHM or any other combo that works for you.
I find it's in circles. Obvs the sahms don't do it. The ones that do, are busy and you'll find them at work.
Is it a farming town by any chance? I moved to one about 5 years ago and it is so 1950's it isn't funny. I run my own business and work ridiculous hours and more than my partner but the expectation here is that I do the housework and make sure everyone's fed and looked after. There's a committee for everything, if you're not on at least 3 committees who even are you? Packed lunches and house keeping is also an extreme sport around here.
I'm a full time working mum of 2 and have gotten comments too. I tell them if they'd like to pay my bills and other expenses then I'll quit work. No one has ever taken me up on that offer haha
There is no normal. Due to my circumstances i couldn’t work, but as soon as that changed i started working school hours so i could still be around for my only child. My partner works, i do not need to, so i work what i can while still being there for my child as much as i can. That is my choice and it is yours to work as much as you do (absolutely no judgement here, sorry if it comes across that way)
There is no normal. Due to my circumstances i couldn’t work, but as soon as that changed i started working school hours so i could still be around for my only child. My partner works, i do not need to, so i work what i can while still being there for my child as much as i can. That is my choice and it is yours to work as much as you do (absolutely no judgement here, sorry if it comes across that way)
I found when my children were in primary school, yes people were very judgemental and made sure they were very clear when discussing there situation and how they “don’t have to work” It gets better as they get older though as by then it’s I guess more of a social norm to have both parents working.
For me it was a personal choice to go back to work and I don’t regret it. My children are well aware that if you want certain things in life, you have to work for it.
I have my days, especially while having to homeschool where I wish I could go back to part time.
Are you being overly sensitive?
Are they a little impressed by how you manage to do it all?
People have different priorities. Nobody is right or wrong in this equation. However sometimes you will see a jab because you are sensitive about the situation without it necessarily be intended that way.
I found I had more judgement when I was a sahm, so I guess it all depends on where you live or who you're surrounded by.
The school would understand, no doubt it's majority women, full time workers, and plenty of them would be parents.
People will judge either way!
I've had a lot of working mums make snippy comments to me over the years about being a SAHM. I've even had one mum say that I'm able to stay home because she works. Like sure thing sweety, that's definitely how it works 🙄
Then when I was working in childcare there was a mum who was a lawyer, her kids were in daycare from 7am to 6pm Mon - Fri. So many of the part time working mums, stay at home mums who used care for a break and even some of the staff members were so judgemental about her. The phrase "why bother having kids at all if you're just going to dump them in care?" was heard far too often.
Any halfwit could've seen how much this woman cherished her kids, I really think it just came down to jealously that she'd built herself an awesome career.
My point being, you're damned if you do, damned if you don't. So you may as well just live life in a way that works for you and give no fucks in doing it!
Yes. Totally normal
Is it a small town?
I think its perfectly fine to be working full time.
I work part time but with extra shifts here and there, its often more hours than expected and I love it!!! I think working has made me a far better mum too. Thats just my personal experience.
I do get comments though. And discouraged, like I'm some kind of victim of employment 😂 and my poor children and poor me must be so exhausted.
Actually I'm not and my kids are wonderful. Just keep doing what works best for your own family.
I find the mum friends I have that work full time, don’t actual have patience for their kids and enjoy being at work. They use work for an escape and can’t cope with being with their kids full time. They are quite open about this and tell me that they couldn’t cope being at home.
For me, I couldn’t do it because I need to be there for my kids. Not everyone does need to be there to pick their kids up etc but I do. Just like you wanting to work full time.
I won’t put my kids in child care. I won’t allow anyone else to pick my kids up. This is my job and I wouldn’t have it any other way.There is 2 sides to this and it’s what ever works for you. I don’t judge. I do my thing and working Mums do theirs.
My husband also works so I can be home raising my kids. I get judged for not working 🙄 can’t win either way. Each family situation is different and we are all different.
I don’t care what people think because at the end of the day, my kids have amazing memories with me and my life is all about them.
The town is prob old school. We are just Mums doing what’s best for our kids weather that’s working or staying home. It’s no one’s business. People judge no matter what.
I work full time because I have bills to pay and mouths to feed. I'm single. It's got nothing to do with escaping. I'd love to stay home with my kids but I don't have a money fairy paying all my bills (and my youngest is over 8 so no SPP) unfortunately I'm not able to pick them up from school and I do work during school holidays but I'd rather a roof over our heads and food so 🤷♀️
Was going to say the same thing.
She says she isn’t judgemental but then goes on to say all those extremely passive aggressive comments that subtlety put down working mums. What a piece of work, no empathy whatsoever.
Most of us work to provide, not to get away from our kids, single mum here too.
I won’t ALLOW my child to go hungry and be homeless, how does that sound lol
Glad life worked out so well for you but geez, you have no idea how the rest of us live.
Oh and FYI, if your husband leaves you at age 50 and you haven’t worked all these years, you’re the highest demographic to become homeless, never hurts to have a plan b.
Oh and if you do become homeless and you come on here for advice, we will just tell you that we won’t allow ourselves to be homeless because it’s our job not to be homeless, because that’s what we believe. But hey, if you choose to be homeless, we don’t judge, your choice.
Oh and we’re making beautiful memories inside our house.
I am a mum of 3 and have always worked FT. That said most people i know after 2 kids stop or significantly reduce work commitments. I enjoy working too, and I my personal belief is we are showing kids how to project manage, be self sufficient and be a part of more than one part of society. My sister lives in a very different area and nearly all mums are SAHM, I don't think anything is right or wrong, it's what works for each family.
My grandma, Mum and I have all worked from when the kids were little. As long as it works for the fam and no one is suffering do not feel guilty. Stay at home mums or part time mums are also great. No one should be voicing their negative opinions.
Full time working mum of 4 here.
Yep I have had some pretty unsavoury comments at times, I even had someone comment how I must not love my children because I'd rather be away from them at work... No dear I work because growing up on Centrelink is no living and I actually really enjoy my job too. I work in aged care and alot of my residents make comments on how amazing they think I am for working full-time and being a mum, their kind words are always much appreciated as I often feel guilty for not being home with the kids, somedays those kind words are what get me through another shift (I love my job but somedays I do miss being "just a mum").
I don’t think so. I have a 7, 4 and 2yo and it seems pretty normal 🤷♀️ I get snarky comments from a couple of family members but I guess it’s very normal in my friends circle and work place. Is it a small town you’ve moved to? I don’t really roll with the school Mums though so I have no idea what they think of me, or if they think of me at all 😂 meh
For most muks now it seems normal but when I had one in childcare...This will sound bad but I got so over it I ended up saying, well someone has to work so you can have pamper days.
I worked because I needed to it because I wanted to and when new management took over, they pretty much but anyone who couldn't work FT, so I went from 6hour days to 9plus.