I’ve found out my 12 year old son has been smoking. I don’t smoke. Apparently he and a mate have been picking up used cigarette butts and using them in a bong (made by the mate from a Gatorade bottle). He was caught by his 15 year old brother who came and told me about it.
I’m horrified and don’t know how to handle it. I questioned Mr 12 and apparently they’ve been doing it for over 6 months.
How do I stop this? Is he now addicted? Do I go see the doctor to get him help to quit?
Child smoking
Child smoking
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt, Health & Wellbeing, Behaviour, Kids
11 Replies
How often are they doing this? Probably not enough to be addicted if they're doing it secretly with such effort. Personally, I'd be smelling him and explaining that cigarettes are really expensive. Everytime he smokes, take a set amount of money off him so he understands the impact on his life if he becomes addicted. Chances are that will make him stop.
If it didn't, I'd start serving dessert to his siblings and not him. I'd explain the want and need he's feeling is similar to how he would feel many times each day when his body needed nicotine and couldn't get it because he's in school, at work, at the movies, on public transport in a car etc. Ask him if he wants to feel a desperate need for something he can't have all the time. Honestly I'd keep finding ways to replicate the things that people hate about smoking.
The threat of potential health risks years in the future won't be as big a deterrent as the practicalities.get creative. Smoker's are segregated now. Make the room with the Xbox a non smokers lounge.
Oh... And tell the other parents for sure
PS... What he's doing is really grotty. I'd be finding a way to really make him see picking up used butts as gross to... Obviously he hasn't thought of what that really means.
Other suggestions. Make his favourite meal but give him boiled brown rice because he won't be able to afford good food if he smokes and smoking kills your taste buds anyway.
Give him double the chores because if he gets tar build up on his lungs, physical things become twice as hard and take longer to complete as a result.
Buy him yellow nail polish to wear
Chances are, he'll promise to stop before you even need to follow through on these things if he knows they'll apply if he keeps going.
I’d look at how much freedom he has. It sounds like he has too much time in order to get up to this behaviour.
Clamp down on that in a positive way. Keep him busy in structured activities that give him less time to roam the streets.
Sounds like they got into the 15 year olds pot stash and he has dobbed them in without bringing up the pot so he doesn't get in trouble and the boys can't say it was pot or they would get in more trouble. Just my theory! Somethings not quite right about the story anyway, I would say the 15 year old is more involved than he has made out. I would tell your son he is not going to get into any trouble if he just tells you the truth.
Or the friend could be getting pot from there family members? Just seems odd to know how to make a bong at 12 to just smoke tobacco. I would definitely consider a psychologist or counsellor
Realisitically, I think there's a really good chance your son has actually been smoking pot. They're probably getting that last bit of tobacco out of the ciggie butts to use as spin.
When I was a teenager, my boyfriend at the time's father smoked tobacco out of a bong as a dare. This man was a pack a day smoker and heavy pot user - he damn well nearly coughed up a lung and then vomited everywhere.
So I'm really doubtful a couple of 12 year olds are smoking tobacco from a bong on a regular basis.
It might sound OTT but I'd take him to his GP and I'd consider a psychologist as well, I just honestly wouldn't be tackling this without professional help.
I agree with others here. I would take the approach that I just don't believe it, and they're lying, and you weren't born yesterday, until they tell you the truth.
And know where they are.
Lol. My older brother dobbed for everything, but particularly health and safety matters. I don't think the teenager is lying. He wouldn't involve parents otherwise as he would definitely be dobbed in too if he had anything to do with it.
Agreed. I think Mr 15 is probably innocent in all this. I have a son that age who's very responsible and health/safety conscious, I'm sure he wouldn't hesitate to tell me if he discovered his younger siblings doing this.
I am pretty willing to bet that weed is involved here though but via the friend, not the brother.
My daughter decided her goal in life was to become a "lad". She wanted to do drugs, and hang around with "people who don't judge". She was 13 at the time....I told her it's her body, her choice, but it's not just her health that would be damaged. It would be financially taxing to keep up the habit, it could be socially isolating when you have to step outside a restaurant/bar, it limits the employment opportunities for you as many are now randomly drug and alcohol tested, it can be embarrassing when you go to travel and the dog stops at you.... if you can travel at all, as you may have a drug conviction and be prohibited from travelling. These choices can affect every area of your life but I always went back to it's her body, her choice. There is no chance I'd have got her to a Dr but our chat seemed to be effective. I made sure I was always available when she needed me. It was definitely a challenging time. You can't be with them all the time and they'll do what they want to. She's now 17 and ditched those people and her outlook on life has changed. Good luck!
Buy a pack of the strongest cigarettes you can get, think they are 12s, than sit him down and tell him he wants to smoke, awesome, smoke all these... Guarantee he stops after 2 or 3 to vomit!!! Doubt he would do it again!!!!
I don't know much bout pot but Id say he's smoking pot and cigarettes together... Yuck!!! Good luck, you got this mumma!!! 💜