If you were moving and buying your children all new bedroom furniture as they were no longer going to be sharing would you buy your eldest (18) new furniture too. We have built a new home and a granny flat for her to live in. We are replacing the kids bedroom furniture/linen etc and I think we should be buying her a lounge, dining table and bedroom suite. We have already purchased her a dinner set, Tupperware, cutlery and appliances including a small washing machine that we have stored in the garage til we move. Hubby thinks we should let her buy her own stuff using her savings. She works full time, pays off her own car and has offered to pay to add a carport to the granny flat. I think we should just set her up! What would you do?
13 Replies
She's only just turned 18. She's pretty much just getting a bedroom with more privacy. I'd be furnishing it if I were you because she hasn't moved out and it's not her property. I'd also not be comfortable with her paying for something that upgrades your house, not hers. Charge her some board if she's really financially independent [but jobs for 18 yr Olds don't pay much] or if she's using it pretty much as an apartment, have her buy her own groceries and do her own cooking.
I'd think differently if she had a professional job, was a qualified tradesperson or was established in a career and 22 or older
Agreed, she shouldn’t be paying for capital improvements to your home.
Is this the daughter who is pregnant?
If I could afford to, I would help her out.
My mum/dad bought most of my stuff when I moved out, to help me out.
I do find it strange how you always ask advice on if you should help your daughter, last time you were considering kicking the poor pregnant kid out because it was the ‘right’ thing to do.
18 isn’t some magic line they cross, where we aren’t allowed to help them anymore.
Do what your heart tells you.
Think you have the wrong person. My daughter isnt pregnant sorry
I think you pay for the carport and yes she should be contributing to the cost of furniture
Why? It's not her house. She should only be contributing to furniture f she gets to take it with her when she moves out in a few years
A bit from column A and a bit from column B.
Surely some second hand stuff would work too!
But what she buys she gets to keep and take with her.
If you can financially afford to do it for her, I would. And help her to invest her money whether it be buying a unit to rent out or getting her to invest in some shares. Teach her to be smart with her money and set her up for the future :) sounds like she has enough for a small deposit!
I wouldn’t have provided my 18year old a granny flat without many discussions about these sorts of issues first.
Does she get to stay there forever? Will you be setting your other kids up the same when they turn 18? How long does she have the granny flat for?
But if I was going to let my child live in a granny flat, I wouldn’t be providing absolutely everything. I’d make sure she has a bed and a bar fridge and basic needs and anything beyond that she can purchase and keep as hers.
She should buy her own stuff. She is an adult. If you look at it as she is your child then you should always be paying for her, because she will always be your child. She is an adult, with adult responsibilities
And she certainly doesn’t need a fully furnished brand new furniture, granny flat right of the bat. She can get things a bit at a time.
There’s no precedent, nothing is set in stone, you do have a free choice going forward on what you buy your adult kids. This isn’t a guarantee to buy all future furniture lol some people can afford to and love to help out their adult kids, some don’t. Sounds like the daughter hasn’t even asked, she doesn’t sound entitled or spoilt to me, even offered to pay for their carport.
Every time this woman posts she mentions how well off they are, how wealthy they are....just saying. She’s literally getting new everything for the entire new house, read her other post.
I feel like you guys should pay for the carport.
She can't take that with her and it adds value to your home.
If you want the furnishings to stay when she moves out, it's not fair she pays for them out of her savings because then she's essentially buying you furniture.
If you're happy for her to take it with her when she inevitably moves out, I don't think it's unreasonable to ask that she buys her own bed/couch/table/linen and decor given you've already purchased her a washing machine and other kitchen stuff.
You pay for the carport. It's your house.
Discuss with her if she wants to buy furniture herself, to take with her when she moves out (& accept she might buy second hand) or you buy it & it stays (or goes if you feel generous).
BUT remember you'll need to do the same for all kids. As someone who didn't get equal it's really hurtful.