Meeting (not) the parents

Anonymous

Meeting (not) the parents

I've been dating a guy for a while now I mean well into a year. We are talking some serious stuff now like moving in together having a baby, we have been looking at houses. We had a week where we thought we were pregnant and so excited. He cried when I wasn't so did I. We see each other all the time. Im completely in love with him and he says the same, but... I havnt meet his parents, who are here in town. I've meet his siblings but not his mum and dad. The werid part is he hasn't told them about me or my child.. I've asked him why and I've asked him to tell them. One night he pinky promised me he would tell them the next time he saw them. That was 5 weeks ago now. I've questioned it all to him. His mum is quite sick, he said he doesn't want to make it about him when he sees them.. there seems to always be a reason why he doesn't tell them, I've heard every excuse possible now. He has met mine.
Im not sure if this is normal? I'm not sure if he is just waiting to tell them.. but why is he waiting. Does he not see us lasting. His previous ex of 18 months met them and so did the others I gather.
I have been okay with it to the last month when he just won't tell them. Im wondering if he has a secret wife or something, but I wouldn't have met his singling and all their kids if he had..
Im noticing my self coming distant from him now emotionally.
Im just not sure what to do about this situation any more, I've told him it's upsetting me but then I just let it go until it gets to me again.

Posted in:  Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Self Care

9 Replies

Anonymous

I think it’s reasonable to be concerned. His reasons are flimsy. I don’t buy that his siblings haven’t told his parents about you. Siblings talk to there parents about each other ALL THE TIME. So unless his siblings are no contact with his parents this makes no sense to me.
I’d tell him how you feel, and how it makes you feel reluctant to commit and move forward in the relationship while you are being hidden from his parents.

like
Anonymous

I didn't meet my partners parents until we had been together over a year. He kept delaying it. Quite frankly, his parents are a bit weird and I can see now 6 years down the track why he didn't introduce us sooner - because they would have scared me away. His Dad is very negative and doesn't like anyone and his mum is very controlling and naggy, she also has zero trust in any of her kids partners (except for 1 favourite lol) and everything we do has some kind of bad intention behind it. Like you can't do anything nice for them or she will think you're just trying to get in on the will lol. I would dare say he has similar issues with his parents and they have probably caused issues in past relationships that's why he's hesitant about you meeting them.

like
Anonymous

My brother had been with his now fiancé for quite while before he reluctantly indrocuded her to our mother (it actually ended up happening by accident). I tend to put off introducing her to important people in my life. If you knew our mother, you'd 100% get it.

Some people have really dysfunctional relationships with their family, so it's possible this is more about them than it is you.

I would however hold off on your baby making plans until you guys have worked through this issue though...

like
Anonymous

Yep becoming distant and wary is very normal. Something weird is up. You don't know what, he won't tell you what, but sure as shit there's something not right going on.

like
Anonymous

I wouldn’t be planning a baby this early or when you have doubts.
Definitely hold off and just get to know him and what’s going on first

like
Anonymous

Well into a year, does that mean less than a year?
Seriously, if so, calm your farm, please don’t do anything permanent like buying a house or having a baby with this man.
Your have a child, you’re a parent, take things really slow, be rational about this.
Just enjoy each other’s company for now, time will reveal what’s up with the parents and everything else if you let it.

like
Anonymous

It won’t be about you! My partner and I have been dating over a year and he still has not yet met my parents or have I told them about him. They separated last year and there is so much drama with them I just need one piece of my life to just be mine for the time being. Also my parents can be quite judge mental and nosey where I like my life to be quiet private. I love my partner but know he would not fit the “standards” my parents expect.

like
Anonymous

He is hiding soemthing

like
Anonymous

You need to keep digging if you are going to continue this. You were going to have a baby with this man. You need to find out why. It sounds suspicious to me. There is prob stuff he doesn’t want you knowing about him or they may be wierd and he’s too emabarased to tell you but seems odd the ex met them. Red flags! Sounds like you are a secret to them

like