Does anyone else feel like a “no one”?

Anonymous

Does anyone else feel like a “no one”?

How do you deal with always being a “no one”? I never had friends growing up, still have no friends, was never smart or talented in anything, not pretty, a job that I barely get through, nothing. I just feel like a no one who has nothing. Always was and always will be.

Posted in:  Self Care, Health & Wellbeing

3 Replies

Anonymous

You get counselling and learn to be a someone.

Why do you have no friends now? What are you doing that makes you be someone with no friends, or are you trying at all?

What are you giving a go to see if you have a talent? Do you have any hobbies or actually tried anything?

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so if you have a kid then someone has obviously deemed you attractive to them. Now you need to learn to love and accept yourself.

If you are only just getting by at work, upskill.. give yourself the means to be successful and get by with ease.

But now, can you answer these things also?
- do you have a roof over your head?
- do you put food on the table and in your kid's bellies?
- do your kids love you?

If you can answer yes, you have something.

You are a someone to them, you are EVERYTHING to them.

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Anonymous

Do you have a partner or children? They are all that matters to me these days. Everything else is a bonus but not necessarily important.

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Anonymous

It comes down to perception. Your perception.
You'll detract from your good points when you're so down on yourself, it'll stop others from seeing how a great a friend you'd be. That's fixable.
I know you say you're not smart or talented. You're smart enough to put a sentence together. You're hardly at the bottom of the smart tree. Common sense and living experience contributes a lot to overall "smarts". You don't need to be a genius to be interesting.
And talented, have you literally tried your hand at everything? I didn't know until I was in my 30's that I have an inherent intuition for logistics. Hardly interesting so not something I was ever going to learn through chasing hobbies but my career pushed me in that direction and I'm really enjoying the challenge. I also have a great eye for photography composition. I never noticed because to me my photos were my norm. I thought everyone did it the same. It was only after I started getting comments on my photos when uploaded to an online platform that I realised there's bad photos, good photos and spectacular photos (you know the ones, thousands of $$$ in equipment, software and hours of fine tuning for THE shot). Mine are good and I can live with that.
In the big scheme we're all noones mate, and no matter what we amass, we all leave with nothing.
Make it a priority to make a needs and wants list. Take the steps to achieve those. If everyday you work towards the first one, everyday you're a step closer to it. I wanted a nice DSLR and the one I chose was a few grand. I started working overtime and putting that money aside. Then when I had enough I bided my time until it was on sale with free lenses and accessories. The money I saved bought me a memory card, a polarising filter and a tripod. Then a few years ago I realised if I was going to travel and see what I want to see I was going to have to do it solo, my bucket list is not any body else's priority so they're not taking time off to join me. I watched caravan for sales for years until I found my van. I've spent years slowly doing it up. In the meantime I'm taking it out to see what's around. This year it was a 2000km trip to Western QLD. Completely solo, and it was a blast!!! I can't wait to do it again.
I bet when you remember how to take the joy from little things, from beautiful things, when you focus outside the negative thoughts you'll be a great friend to somebody. First you've got to be friends with yourself.

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