Alternative names to "mum" for step parent

Anonymous

Alternative names to "mum" for step parent

Hi all, I am curious to hear alternative names to "mum". Specifically for Step-mums but happy to hear all names that would be suitable for kids who are getting confused with mum 1 and mum 2 to say. Even though they came up with those names originally 🤣

EDIT: for clarification, I am the biological mother. I am asking for an alternative name they could call my fiance as it is the kids who have been referring to HER as mum2

Posted in:  Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Self Care, Parenthood Guilt, Health & Wellbeing, Kids, Teenagers, Tips and Advice, Aspergers & Autism

18 Replies

Anonymous

My step kids just call me by my name and refer to me as their step mum when talking to other people.

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Anonymous

Been in my step kids life for 13 years...they call me by my name. They already have a mum (even though she hasn't called or seen her kids in years...). I'm not their mum. I could never take that away from her.

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Anonymous

Just to clarify. I am their biological mother. I am asking in reference to my fiance as the kids have been calling HER mum 2

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Anonymous

Call by your name.

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Anonymous

My son calls his step mum by her name, same with everyone else I know.
I would be very uncomfortable with him calling her mum2, as a step mum, if they were young, I think you should have encouraged them to call you by your name.

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Anonymous

Just to clarify, I am the biological mother. It is my fiance who is being called mum 2 and who I am looking for an alternative name for

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Anonymous

Your name. Sounds a bit like you're the one that wants a title or alternative.

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Anonymous

In no way have I encouraged this. Its 100% just something that they have come out with and I have no issue at all but I want my kids to feel comfortable. It was never an issue when my eldest called my ex-husband and his step-dad "dad" so why would it be an issue for them to want to refer to my fiance as "mum" also 🤷‍♀️

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Anonymous

To me it comes down to 1. Respect for bio parents wishes and 2. Length of time. But then really no matter then length, if you split they leave, they're not actual mum and that's why you definitely shouldn't be doing it in less than at least a good few years.

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Anonymous

Geez, didn’t you learn from your ex?
So your son has had a “dad” on top of bio dad, who didn’t last.
Now your kids have a “mum2”, what if this doesn’t last?
Think of your kids and their feelings if you break up.
Your partners don’t need to become your kid’s parents.
You do you, leave the kids out of it.

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Anonymous

I still feel, even taking your edit into consideration, that your fiancé's name is the best way to go. It really doesn't get more simple and less confusing than using a step parent's first name.

If you're still really after something cutesy or parental, you could opt for a non english variation of mum/mother or BB (short for bonus mum).

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Anonymous

I don't think it matters who the step parent is, first name is better it's less confusing.

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Anonymous

I think it's beautiful that you and the kids families are accepting of the step parents being called mum/dad, I understand it would get very confusing tho 😂 unfortunately I am stumped for cool alternative names, all I can think of is mumsy or mam. Someone else mentioned a non English word for mum and I think that's a great idea. All the best x

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Anonymous

You obviously haven’t seen what happens when they break up and kids lose their “other” mum or dad.

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Anonymous

I would be wary of having kids call partners by parent names. If things turn pear shaped and your partner doesnt have anything to do with your kids after you split, which does happen, your kids may be a bit more devo considering they have been calling this person a mum and thought that's what they were to them. It's also the same when people think it's a cool idea to get their boyfriend of 3 years to adopt their 12 year old then bang, one year later they split and the kid never sees the "Dad" again. It's just a word to us but to a child it takes on a whole new meaning.

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Anonymous

Yep. Your edit doesn't change my mind. Call her by her name.

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Anonymous

Call her by her name. My niece and nephews call there step parents by their names. It hasn’t damaged the bond one bit.

All the grandkids call my parents by their names. They have a wonderful bond.

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Anonymous

The edit, the HER in caps and the comment about your ex husband, you seem disappointed that we have zero care factor about you being a gay. This is a responsible parent issue, not a sexual orientation issue, we aren’t homophobic and don’t give a shit about that.

Put your kids first before your need for an insta family, you can’t erase your kids history, nor their bio parents.

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