Sisterhood, I need your opinions.
We have 3 beautiful children, 11,7 and 5.
My heart longs for another baby, the feeling of growing a baby, bringing life into the world and being a mum is an experience like no other.
Here's where I am conflicted,
I am getting ready to return to the workforce, my youngest child will begin primary school next year, each child has their own room and space, we can afford to do things comfortably, we plan on doing some travelling when the children are a little older, we are out of nappies and bottles, no longer have to carry around a bag full of baby items. If we decided to have another child I feel we would be stepping backwards, travelling overseas is something we would no longer be able to afford, we will need all the baby items again, travelling with in our country would be put on hold so as to not stop to feed and change baby every few hours. One of our children would need to share a room, taking away their own space. Essentially we would be starting over, We already have a 7 seater car so that wouldn't need to be purchased. I have always said I wouldn't be the person to have another child when my youngest son started school. I am turning 32 soon and my partner 35, I feel if we don't have another soon it will be out of the question.
What would you do in this situation?
9 Replies
Considering your reasons are your heart longs for another baby, the feeling of growing a baby, bringing life into the world and being a mum I'd say you only want the baby. You're a mum already so that's ticked off and the baby won't be a baby for long. I'd enjoy what you have and look forward to those holidays and the freedom that comes as kids grow and become independent
Having my youngest start school this year I'll tell you it's AWESOME. No more daycare, nappies, prams or baby restrictions. Opportunity is opening back up - career, travel etc & feeling a little like I have options again.
The travelling bit caught me though. I'm a dedicated traveller & will be travelling overseas & interstate again, as soon as possible as DC are old enough now (5&8) so we can all enjoy exploring.
So you must do what suits your family, but the world out there beyond nappies can be amazing.
Enjoying the process of pregnancy and giving birth does not seem like a good enough reason to add another person to my family. Given that you’ve listed a bunch of negatives and haven’t mentioned your partner and yourself yearn to raise a child and how you think a child would add positively to your family.
My heart longs for another baby but my head is up there like "Oi, dont be fucking crazy. Three is enough, got it?!" 😂
My point being, this is a decision that needs to be made from a practical, rational standpoint.
For me, sacrificing a comfortable lifestyle and sacrificing what we can offer the children who already exist isn't worth the trade off for one more baby. I can live with that longing and possible regret of not having one more, I couldn't live with uprooting our whole lives to the point it became a detriment and potentially regretting having a child that stretched me beyond my limit.
I wouldn't do it. I don't think that feeling ever really goes away it's an instinct. If nature had her way we would each have 20 kids to look after. You just need to know when is the right time to tell the yearning to sssshhhh. You have also been a SAHM for a long time so you may feel as though that is your purpose and now your baby is older you're getting kinda sad like you're not needed now. Once you get back into the workforce you will probably find the yearning dies down. You deserve to have you back now, start enjoying your independence.
I say no and get a dog
Sounds like what you are missing is that dependence and need i other a baby brings. You want to be needed. I have 3 kids and still LOVE babies so i get my fix by loving on all the babies around me without having to do any of the heavy lifting. My 3 are all older than yours and it's harder with age, sport wanting to do and go different places, might be time to do a gear shift of a young family with kids rather than babies. It's great but different. If you want to clean up have hugs and be needed get a puppy
Do you think if you were to have a baby, when that baby turns 5 would you get the same longing?
I personally have decided against having another for the reasons you listed. I want my kids to experience all the stuff I never got to experience growing up.
I had a 3rd with a 6 year gap
Doing school and a baby was exhausting in my 30’s so much more than 2 in nappies in my 20’s
The things we were doing with two young kids changed with baby considerations, still manageable just harder
I’ve been doing lunches and the school run for 21 years this year
I’ve been working 15 years juggling work and family
We’ve waited a long time to travel as a couple
We are blessed beyond measure but it is hard and a time commitment
Being prepared realistically what this means long term for a family
It’s always more than just the pregnancy and baby time that needs to be considered