Am I overreacting?

Anonymous

Am I overreacting?

What can I do?? This is a long one I’m sorry.

Okay so back story.. My ex and I have a child together who is 6. Four out of those six years we have been split up. It was for the best simply because when we were together all we did was fight. That’s not what I want our child growing up thinking is a normal relationship. Our child is in my care with every second weekend at his fathers.

For the first year of us being split he asked me almost every time I seen him if we could be friends with benefits. I said no. Every time. He makes inappropriate comments, not caring if it’s in front of our child. For example one morning after a terrible night with an upset child I woke up late. I only had enough time to get my tiny monster up and dressed before my ex arrived. I was still in my bed clothes and without a bra. He thought it was appropriate to say ‘your tits look great’ and then proceeded to tell me to ‘loosen up’ when I got mad at him and then he told me that he could help me relieve the stress.

These types of comments have been going on for the past four years, no matter how many times I ask him to stop. It’s always the same ‘I’ve seen all of you before, I’m just reliving the good times in my mind’

Every time he drops off or pick up our child he finds a way into my house. If I walk away from the door to help my child with something he walks in to my house like he has every right to even though I have told him not to. He went into my room the other day, using our child as a reason to and all he said was ‘it’s not like I haven’t been in your bed before’

Now for the past couple months when my child comes home it’s always ‘when’s daddy moving in?’ Or ‘I want daddy to live with us.’ When I ask him why he says this, he gets nervous and says because I can. But when my brother asked him why, he said daddy told me to. And I’m now receiving text after text about why it would be good for us to get back together, I’ve told him after each text I’m not interested. He keeps saying it’s best for our child and that it would make happy because its what he wants. The only reason he wants it is because his father put it in his head. But with what he writes he is making me feel like I am a bad mum for denying my child the chance to live with his mum and his dad.

I can’t deal with his shit anymore. He is a good dad, don’t get me wrong. He wants to spend time with his child. I just don’t know how to make him stop without it getting nasty. I’ve tried the nice way for four years and it hasn’t worked. I also don’t want him to decide to take things to court because it’s not fair to put our child through that. I’m so lost 😞 when we split we were on okay terms but now I just hate him. I dread his weekends because I have to deal with his shit. Also when I’m cold to him if pickup or drop off is at my mums or something, I’m always told I’m a bitch to him. They don’t see what I have to deal with when no one is around. He makes sure of that.

Am I overreacting? Am I just being a bitch?

Posted in:  Relationships & Marriage

6 Replies

Anonymous

Firstly good for you, for being so strong and not putting up with it, taking him back.

Now you need to tell him, to wait at the car at all times and that he isn’t to come to your door.

If he keeps this up, ask for an avo for harassment. He has no right to speak to you where you feel uncomfortable. You are his past, not his future. His child is but not you.

You need to set him straight and do not reply to anything that doesn’t concern your child.

Hopefully if you meet someone else he will leave you alone also. He won’t feel so comfortable. You are not his property and just because you have a child together, doesnt mean he can do this either. Creep

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Anonymous

Your family should stay out of it. They don’t live it and is isn’t their story, it’s yours. It has nothing to do with them. They should encourage you to stand up to him and they should be standing behind you not him. Keep doing what you’re doing

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Anonymous

Don’t do changeover at your house. Meet at a local park or shopping centre. Ignore all texts and emails that do not concern your child. In an age appropriate way, explain to your child that you wouldn’t have the happy home that you do have if mummy and daddy live together. Maybe see a family counsellor and ask for advice on how to stop his inappropriate behaviour.

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Anonymous

Why don’t you just do the obvious and stop having drops off’s at your house. Use a third party if you have to, and stop responding to his messages . Simple,

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Anonymous

He sounds like a pig. Keep the changeovers at your mums house and tell them not to tell you any rubbish he’s saying. Your child will eventually be old enough to explain that you aren’t getting back together. Try to keep contact in writing. Public place changeovers such as McDonald’s are also great. Make sure you go inside because there are generally no cameras in the car park.

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Rachel Burgess-Jones

No you are not overreacting my son is 10 and his Dad left me when I was pregnant but when my son was born he would just turn anytime of the day or night. I let him for 6 months worrying that my son would not know his Dad. Had to change my locks and get a parenting plans to get him to back off. I engaged to a man I have been with since my son was 3.5 years old but ex still tries to walk into my house as if he still lives here, my fiancé put him in his place. My ex would take me back tomorrow if I asked but we don’t work together and I love my fiancé

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