Marijuana addiction

Anonymous

Marijuana addiction

I have been with my partner for 20 years and always known that he smokes pot. He has been smoking it since he was around 16 and is now 40. I always assumed that one day he would just grow up and stop. However over the years I have sensed more issues and realised he is incapable of quitting anything. He drinks every day (a lot) and brews his own alcohol which I think makes it worse. He is always anxious, stressed and angry and the only time he is happy is when he’s stoned and not too drunk. We have four kids that have no bond with him and I am constantly mediating between him
and the kids to ensure that everyone is okay because the kids don’t like spending time with him. He falls asleep on the lounge every single night and refuses to accept that he has a problem. I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I am not his parent and I can’t keep taking responsibility for him and making excuses for him. If I leave we will struggle financially (we’d have to sell our home) and my kids won’t have a Dad around, but I don’t know what I can do as he refuses to admit there is a problem. I’ve also been told by friends he takes other drugs I am unaware of and I’ve asked him about this but he also denies everything. I have never gotten into pot or any other drugs and it’s difficult for me to understand addiction. I must also add that he hides his drugs and never smokes around the kids or me. Has anyone been in a similar situation and maybe have advice on what to do?

3 Replies

Anonymous

You're worried about your kids not having a dad around but say they have no bond with him anyway? What exactly are they learning by watching his behaviour?
It's time for some hard truths, kick him out. You'll soon realise where his priorities lie

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Anonymous

If he hasn’t changed by now he’s probably not going to. He has a 24 year long addiction, it’s not going to just suddenly stop. It’s even harder when they don’t think they have a problem. If he doesn’t want to quit I don’t see it happening. All you really can do is talk to him about it. Maybe if he knew that you were considering leaving over it that would make him think a little bit harder about what’s more important to him.

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Anonymous

I was in a similar situation. My ex husband smoked pot for years and drank a lot. He would get agitated if he didnt have any each day.

He already doesn't have a relationship with the kids. If he doesnt see them that's his issue. You're kids obviously see him for who he is and know his drugs are more important to him than they are.

I ended my marriage once, my ex gave me lots of promises and begged for a chance to make it better. I took him back to help support him. 12 months later he refused to get help, went back on everything he said. After another year and a half I ended it for good.

Your husband wont change. As you said you can't make excuses for him, he is an adult and he has made his choice.

I am much better off financially since ending my marriage. We had to sell out house, I'm still on single parent payments, currently studying and looking for work. I am better off because I no longer have my ex making up fake car repairs so he can get drugs and alcohol and leave the family with no money for food for days. I am happier and my kids aren't exposed to his abuse and neglect everyday.

Sometimes it comes down to the mental and emotional health of yourself and your children over money.

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