I’m happily married with 3 beautiful kids the youngest being 2. I’m just wondering how everyone else new they were done? I have so much love to give that I would have 3 more if I could but would settle for just 1 more.
My husband says he’s done and refuses to talk about it. His parents aren’t great with our kids and have made him feel embarrassed for wanting/having a big family and I feel this could be the reason why he is refusing to have 1 more.
Our kids are beautiful and I would say mostly well behaved other then the times that they drive us slightly mad.
I would say we are very well off financially although we are still renting but currently saving for a home. Both working stable well paying jobs.
So my question is how did you know you were done?
10 Replies
Sorry to be cynical, but the more kids, the harder it is to get a mortgage, just something to consider.
I feel this is a personal choice but I was in the same position. I decided to stop at 3 even tho we are financially pretty well off. It came down to feeling like I was at my limit. I don’t regret not having a 4th . Your husband may also feel like 3 is enough for him. Goodluck with your decision xx.
When your partner is done, the decision is made!
A firm no, over rides a yes when it comes to having kids. Raising a kid you didn’t really want is awful, and not everyone ‘comes around’.
But even if hubby was a maybe (he’s not) sometimes you just make a decision based on the welfare of the entire family, remembering that kids get more expensive as they get older, stay living at home longer and will most likely need help from parents to get into the property market themselves.
I suddenly and unexpectedly became a single mum and I’m soo thankful I only have two kids to raise alone. Your partner is done- your done.
Just because things seem easy now doesn’t mean it stays easy!
I’m deep in the teen years and mental health issues, social media, hospitalisations, exams during covid etc are destroying any happiness and peace we had. Parenting is tough and you never know what the future holds
I don’t think I will ever stop the feeling on thinking I want another, however my husband’s no outweighs anything I feel.
We are well off financially, own our own home, have enough room for the kids and a spare room, can afford private schooling, have a car big enough. If we have another, we would have to adjust our lifestyle, upgrade homes eventually and upgrade cars.
I think 2 is our magic number, on holidays there’s always two rooms, a second with a double bed or two singles. Never three, the third person gets a crappy trundle or blow up bed. Cars are squishy, a 7 seater isn’t suffice if all kid’s want a friend over, the age gap is significant with extra curricular activities and there’s only two parents to drive to different locations, add another into the mix and who will drive them?
So for us, logically speaking having another would just be silly and they wouldn’t fit into our life :)
I always wanted 4...until I became a single mum! I'm definitely NOT risking having anymore kids and becoming a single mum again. One of the kids dads died and the other left me for someone barely out of school. I always think I'd rather regret not having another child than regret having one.
You know when you are done because you won’t yearn for another one. If the feeling is there then go for it! As for his family stuff what they think. I had 3 and knew I was done but looking back now I wish I had them a bit younger so I could have had my 4th but I am very happy and blessed with 3. I did always want 4.
You are done when you no longer have to ask this question 😀
You're done when your partner says so unless you leave him and do it alone or with a new man. And if you are renting, having another before you get in the property market is working against yourself.
I think if you have three children and you are still renting/saving for a home that means you are not very well off financially. Having another child will mean it will be even longer before you can return to full time employment which then means even longer till you buy your own home. Financially well off would be a paid off home and having paid off or paying off a investment property. However if you don’t really care about finances and are happy with what you have which is absolutely fine then if husband is in agreement go ahead.