Troubled 5 yr old

I really need some advice guys...

My 5 yr old son is dealing with so much and I just have no idea what to do anymore!!

I took my son from his father back in January because of abuse (mental and physical, from both his father and his partner) as well as drug and alcohol issues, his father had also abandoned him, drunk drove and treated him quiet roughly.

I noticed issues arrising and engaged a therapist, psychologist and his paediatrician. My sons psychologist and paediatrician think my son has adhd and Aspergers, he's quiet smart just has little ticks that get him pretty angry. However his therapist seems to think he isnt dealing with trauma from his father well at all which is adding more symptoms onto his diagnosis, so diagnosis has become so difficult!! Once issues come up at school, holiday programs, after school care they immediately jump on me for a diagnosis, I wish I could pull it out of me a#* but I just can't and they're so stressful!!

My son can not sleep on his own, he can't do anything alone, he needs constant reassurance, he has explosive anger and has already been kicked out of one school (mind you hes a preppy), he's bitten teachers, hurt students, thrown chairs, hitting, kicking, screaming at the top of his lungs, ran from class rooms, running into his sisters class or out of the school grounds. I've been called and asked to pick him up from school because of his violent outbursts basically weekly since he started in January! Im a single mum who works full-time and its getting so bad that it's basically putting my job at risk now. I already take time off during the week to take my son to appointments, I have NDIS so all costs are covered but I dont know how much more work will put up with.

My son's paediatrician agrees he needs to be on meds but won't put him on them until he is 6, that's 4 months away, I literally can't keep doing this!!! I need help!! or a brake or a tone of wine or something!! Im spread so thin atm and my poor daughter, she's always left behind to fend for herself, she's 10 but my son takes up so much of my
efforts she gets 0 attention and hates living with him. When ever I do get a free moment I give her 110% of my time but that leaves 0 time for me and don't even ask about dating!! I'm actually just so lost!! My poor boy to go through all that and my daughter to be left behind and be effected by it too, I could kill!! Aahhhhhh

I guess my rant is about how to help my kids get through this and myself I guess. Where do I go from here? What do I do next? Has anyone been through this or is it just me?