So hubby has a new (2yrs) really good mate, they speak daily and almost see each other daily too. Hes recently (6-12months) seperated from his wife and living his best single life again.
Hes nice, we have a laugh and get on okay, honestly still dont really know him that well compared to hubbys other mates.
Here's the thing, he's a total shit stirer in my marriage, he'll bring up things that me and hubby debate over, and try and stir the pot.
He'll make comments like 'I don't remember that night, ohh wait is that the night you cracked the shits with hubby?'.
I can see him manipulating my hubby to spend time with him instead of me, ie boys will bring be drinking around our house and he will try his best to move the party to the pub or back to his place, knowing full well I can't get kids out of bed and join, hubby always says no but i still feel like a burden and always tell him he can go but he hasn't yet.
Even when we have plans to do something or go out somewhere (and hubby isnt overly keen) his friend will say that those plans are crap and how much better would it be if we all just went to the pub, so I'm left looking like the bad guy because we already have commitments that involve other people and i dont want to let them down. Que more arguements.. Beacuse its not that hard to convince my husband to go to the local instead of having dinner with his family for instance 🙄 which has happened mind you!!
And yes fair enough husband is a grown man and can make his own decisions but he doesn't need this 'mate' in his ear trying to talk him out of doing something with me or our family.
Hes so manipulative and pushy with what he wants.. And i feel as though he doent resepct our relationship..
Hes got hubby full drunk drunk at the pub on more than a few occassions and hubby will complain about it, that he just wanted a beer or two but his mate kept putting new ones in front of him and then he feels the peer pressure.. Again i know he needs better boundaries, but I have seen this guys messages, he is soo pushy and wont take no for an answer..
Sorry for the rant just needed to get it off my chest, this was just a real quick summary!
I'm starting to look like the angry shitty wife, who gives my husband a hard time but I feel like this guy is bad news for us and I've gotten to the point I dont even want this guy around right now he stirs up so much shit.
Hubby really enjoys his company, they do laugh alot together, I haven't said anything to hubby. Hubby has been let down on a few occassions by this guy so thinking he might be digging his own grave so to speak..
Edited to add,
gently spoke with hubby about it last night, i said his mate is like the devil's advocate (didnt like that comment..) And said he likes to stir the pot, to which hubby agreed and said thats what he does, so just to except it sort of attitude..
I responded with I don't want someone coming between our marriage and then hubby walked off in a huff, he was defending his mate the whole time..
Even tried to speak to him about it again this morning but still on his mates defense.
I even said he makes me look like the bad guy, to which hubby responds 'all women are the bad guys'.. Like WTF??
I cant help but feel this guy is trying to rip my husband away from me and turn him against me??!
I dont even know what to do from here..