Gaming and explosive anger with adhd

Anonymous

Gaming and explosive anger with adhd

I am so TOTALLY, over the melt downs when gaming time is over.

Back stoey- I have 4 kids, and one is adhd, odd, conduct and suffering depression and anxiaty that presents as rage, some times violently. Jack can have full on melt downs about sharing the gaming system, so on the advice of his pead, we now limit each child to one day each after school and any extra time has to be earned.

So, Jack struggles greatly with ending his turn. It results in anger, rage, violence, trashing his room, attacking his siblings, abuse, and death threats. So much so, I want to ban gaming all together. But I feel it's not fair on the other kids, who can share, and end their turn nicely and fairly. Is it ok to but a total stop on gaming for just one child until we see improvement in behaviour.

Jack is medicated, on concerta, and resparadone. He is mostly ok, we still have the come down of an evening witch is to be expected, but then when gaming is over, it's torture and I feel it's a very negative trigger for his mental health.

Posted in:  Behaviour

10 Replies

Anonymous

Age of all the kids would help.

But if they are young I’d put it away all together for a few months. Don’t blame it on the son with adhd. You will need to think of another reason.

The rages just aren’t worth it, and the kids hearing his rages aren’t good for them either.

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Anonymous

He's 10yo. Siblings are 6, 9 and 12

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Anonymous

I would ban him, please don't use his ADHD as an excuse for this. It won't fly in a courtroom so it shouldn't fly at home. Ban him for a few days at a time, nothing too long, enough for him to at least try. Give him other outlets for his anger, boxing bag, punching pillow.

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Anonymous

Oh it's no excuse, but it is an explanation in terms of children and impulse control. I in no way allow his diagnosis be an excuse, and he is punnised consistently regardless of his diagnosis. He loses gaming alot, due to his inability to behave after his told to goo of and give others a go, or eat dinner.

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Anonymous

Its just a fact you have to handle him differently.

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Anonymous

So if they get one night a week how long are they playing for on that night? Having to wait 7 days for another turn is a long time and only gives him once a week to practice his self control to turn it off and end his turn. You could ban it totally but I’m not sure thats really solving your problem.

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Anonymous

Have you had help with transitions. Lots of strategies. Timers, warnings, pre setting the expectation of time and getting off, transitioning to next activity , not just 'off' visual schedules and reminders for whata next and what he needs to do to get his next time on. Etc etc etc

Is it fair to ban gaming? On one hand no, not if the others are really into it. on one hand do what you need to do in your home if its explosive. You can also transition them ie) the game system is going on friday so finish up your level/project etc.

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Anonymous

My 9 year old is ADHD and we are all too aware of that struggle when they become fixated with the game.

We have found a timer that he can see seems to help, positive reinforcement straight away if he does get off when the alarm sounds. As well as something to move onto as soon as that times up. Weather it be to go have a shower, eat dinner or go to sport lesson. If he has nothing to stimulate him straight after being asked to get off, this is when we see defiance as he doesn’t see why he had to get off in the first place.

A huge contribution to these blow ups is playing online, with school friends etc. He wants to do it but it is so overwhelming all the voices coming through the headset and trying to focus on the game, this starts his emotions flowing. He gets loud and cheeky, his way of dealing with the craziness off all the action that’s in front of him.
Does your son play online? Try using that as a consequence for not getting off on time. Can’t Bodie, he wont go online.

Another thing we have found is, when the medication wears off around 4- 430 in the arvo, if he’s been busy riding, running around ect, that “come down” is soo much easier then if he’s been doing well... nothing.

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Anonymous

I think having set days per child is a great idea. And definitely stick with that.

I would give Jack warning next time it's his day, that if there is trouble when its hand over time, that he will miss out of his day next week.

It's completely okay to have different boundaries for different kids, considering there behaviour. So long as Jack knows that if Sally trashed things and carried on about hand over, she'd miss her turn next week too.

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Anonymous

This! No two kids are the same! My eldest I can reason with on the spot and deal with the issue immediately. My youngest needs to go to his room and calm down before I can talk it out with him. My eldest commented once that his brother gets away with everything, but I explained that he doesn’t get away with it he just needs to calm down first then I will discuss it with him.

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