Has anyone managed a successful relationship while long term travelling? I had brought a one way ticket for me and DD 8yo last year to do a year-two year back pack around the world obviously covid didn’t allow that to happen- i had just split with my ex and thought why not I had nothing keeping me here - I am now looking at getting back with my ex and know if I do it’ll be with aims of marriage and maybe another kid- however I still have this niggling of wanting to see the world live in other places etc- he has no interest- he will do 2-4 weeks but nothing longer does not feel comfortable taking such a long time off work along with other personal reasons- so my question is has anyone made long term travel work when partner doesn’t come along? Is it a choice between one or the other? How do you keep the relationship going without one wondering or calling quits after such a long period?
13 Replies
I dont see how it could work, unless youre ok with being away from your partner for that long.
If the aim is another child then you won't be going. I get his attitude - I always wanted to travel long term but have a security driven personality. So we've done shorter stints to incredible places & done crazy things. Whereas my SIL is who cares? Something will turn up (but it's not her than earns the money tho).
So, neither is better or worse but both are very different. You choose which you want. If in your shoes I'd be taking the ticket.
However, normal travel isn't going to happen for a while. Especially transiting through poorer countries. We had to cancel an OS trip last year & I'm a mad obsessed traveller so I get the feeling.
Another child is currently here nor there for me- and I know he wants another but don’t believe it’s end all on his end
I earn my own money and wouldn’t be relying on him to foot anything for me to go. I have a good amount of savings so I’m secure to leave and know I would have money to come home to and my industry we are not short on jobs I would be able to walk in to something the day after I fly back without question
He does FIFO so have been comfortable with time away but such a long stint and to keep a relationship happy to last is what I’m worried about
In the end, my point was that in your words I can recognise that burning desire to travel which your ex does not share. Only those of us that have it will understand how you feel. This might be your only chance, so decide which is more important & consider if you would regret missing your opportunity because it doesn't suit someone else, or if you'd both compromise & do 3-4 weeks in a different country every year.
I'm probably a bit pushy because I've seen too many friends & family who put travel off for various reasons & things have happened that they'll now never get to their dream destinations & the regret is HUGE.
I personally don't think a relationship will survive two full years & you're asking too much of him - and yourself. You will be a completely different person when you come home anyway.
I'd go, enjoy the experience with my child & know that whatever happens you've not compromised your dream for anyone else, just once in your life. It's an amazing experience for kids as well so ignore the missing school stuff. There's ways around that.
Do your research on costs though. Europe is hellishly expensive & most long term backpackers quickly end up in poorer countries where it's cheaper.
Probably not going to work. He is right really, he does need to keep working to pay bills like most of us do. I think once you have had kids you miss your boat to travel LONG TERM. I think this maybe more about you letting go of your freedom and your youth and not really wanting to settle down to be a parent/adult. You are able to see the world 6 weeks at a time. It just takes a bit longer. It's also better financially as Im unsure how you were going to fund yourself, you wouldn't be able to work overseas and centrelink /child support would be cut off after 8 weeks abroad. If covid has taught us anything about travel its that you need a lot of money put aside in case there is an emergency that insurance doesn't cover. My partners ex had to borrow 10k to get herself and son home last April and thats not including the extra long hotel stay they had prior to leaving.
I am lucky enough to have enough money to afford him, myself and my DD along with expenses we can’t stop while away and to come back to savings if we back pack and just enjoy seeing the world vs the holiday lifestyle of seeing attractions/hotels. We are both in industries that have more jobs then staff so can go back to work the day we arrive home. Even with that security he doesn’t care to which is fine but I feel like if I go back to the relationship I give up the chance of a big travel not smaller trips. I want to see about making both work. I had my DD at 18 due to a drink spike and didn’t know I was pregnant until 6 months so didn’t have the chance to explore the world before kids and covid has thrown a rock in the spanner of allowing me to do it in a time I was single and only worrying about me and DD
What about your kid missing school for two years?
Are you going to home school?
All the money you have, was that from dividing assets, selling your home?
Will you now have to pool all funds again and repurchase a home?
Sounds wonderful to me, I lived overseas before kids, would love to do it again.
Could you get a job os on a one or two year contract that includes housing and you could enrol your child in an international school?
That would be the best way I reckon.
He could fly to you and you to him.
You could even do it for just a year, isn’t that much time in the scheme of things.
Holidays you don’t get to really know the culture, I truly get it.
Good luck, whatever you decide.
So go. If you have the money. Have the ticket. Have the dream. Go.not many people get the chance, let alone with children. You have to keep a house, schooling, furniture, pets, savings, it goes on. If you have the chance and really want to do it, what would be stopping you. Why have you reconciled/started a relationship though if thats really your dream?
We don’t even know when international travel will be allowed to a large number of countries, so I honestly wouldn’t even be considering it just yet. I wouldn’t be putting a relationship on hold/not giving it a chance because of it, as it may not happen for 3+ years and by that age, your daughter may not want to even go as she will be entering high school.
In theory it sounds amazing and in a Covid free world I would have said bloody go for it!!
But ultimately, I don’t think you can make a relationship work. Expecting someone to hold off on intimacy, that feeling of love for so long is unfair. Maybe if you came back from travelling and you were both single?
Yep, international travel has a long way to go (a couple of years) before you’ll be able to travel without quarantining for 2 weeks every where you go.
So you need to think seriously if this is a realistic plan either way.
But I’d say this relationship is doomed. You both have very different ideas on how to live your lives and that’s going to be a constant problem through out your relationship.
Honestly I wouldn't even be considering doing something like this even if you were single. It's just too risky and unpredictable in this post Covid world.
There are so many places in australia that are such a completely different world. Head to fnq, the islands, kakadu, the kimberleys, broome, uluru, a year will be up before youve even done one circle. Then theres tasmania, NZ, the Pacific islands.
100% go!! If it is meant to be it will. You will forever have niggling resentment that you didn't chose yourself !