My 9 year son has displayed a number of behaviours since birth that make me think he may be on the spectrum. This includes ticks, difficulty with loud noises, cannot tolerate haircut or nail trimming, difficulty with eye contact, struggles with different textures when eating and social difficulties. I understand that these difficulties are quite mild in comparison to many others but it does impact our family daily.
He is an awesome kid but connecting with him is really hard and I feel as though I am failing him as a parent.
I have been told there is no benefit in seeking a diagnosis. Has anyone been through this?
7 Replies
Theres not much benefit in the sameway theres not much if they behave well at school, or if they are able to be supported regardless of any diagnosis.
However there is benefit to them, and you, in in understanding themselves and belonging.
Theres benefit in schools understanding and setting up notes so the support is there if they start to need it, and so you dont have to go through hell with every new teacher that doesnt support them (if that were to come up). So they will want to diagnose correctly regardless of how able he seems.
The thing is though, to diagnose they want to see the struggles in two different settings, which makes it harder for those cuspy ones that are either perfectionist so behave perfectly, are mimicking and flying under the radar, are more social or supported and coping well while at school .
Who told you that? Do yourself a favour & never seek their opinion again.
Whatever your child's individual struggles or needs, or diagnosis, help is always a benefit. The struggles may seem mild to you, but inside his head there's probably a lot going on. Strategies, understanding and support from professionals like psychologists can make all the difference. Believe me, I know. We went through the wringer trying to understand our son, connect with him & then get him help.
A lot of people will say don't bother, he's fine! But here's where you advocate for him. Don't take no for an answer. Find someone that listens to you. I won't lie, there's a lot of doctors that brush you off. A diagnosis can mean targeted therapy & assistance like NDIS.
Also, you're not failing him. You're trying to get him help even though facing the issue is confronting and emotionally difficult. That puts you in the top tier of pretty awesome.
My son is autistic and so am I.
There are a number of ways a formal diagnosis has helped me (despite masking and ‘passing’).
1. It has helped my family understand me more
2. It has helped me understand myself and develop better coping mechanisms and prevent autistic burnout
3. It’s helped my psychologist, GP and other services to effectively help me/treat me.
I think your son could benefit long term, even if he doesn’t attract funding from NDIS or similar.
Whoever said that is so wrong.
Chances are, he notices he is different and a diagnosis will allow him to understand himself better. And then everyone around him and you can find ways to accommodate him!
Who told you that? There is always a benefit. Especially when symptoms can worsen. My son has gotten worse in some ways the older he has become. It will allow him to understand himself better at least.
Autistic adult here: I'm 40. I found out last year that I'm Autistic (AFAB/girls weren't diagnosed at the same rate as boys and I mask well enough to be neurotypical passing). Even though I "get by" well enough, a diagnosis would DEFINITELY have helped me not feel like a freak growing up. I knew I was different. I didn't know why. Having answers for why my brain does what it does, why my anxiety is "treatment resistant" and why I get lost in my own little world most of the time is great. Would've been much better growing up. I would never wish that on any kid.
Yes. Also I imagine it helps a lot in understanding adult friendships and relationships and if they prefer the company of their family or self. Which is fine but failed relationships and jobs and conflicts and issues with work and rentals and finances can all contribute to adults feeling absolutely shit about themselves if that understanding isnt there.