My mums going crazy.

Anonymous

My mums going crazy.

I’m a mum of 4 children. Up until now I have been very close with my Mum and my kids love their grandma. We have a great relationship.
However slowly over the last 5 years I’ve noticed personality changes in my 67 year old mum.
Mum is starting to do odd things such as encouraging my kids to make fun of people. (She told my 8 year old that fat girls serve up bigger ice creams and on another occasion told my 7 year old to be careful of the dead chooks when cracking eggs, also told the 7 year old he would fall out of the car and die if he leans on the car door going around corners)
She is also playing the kids off against one another and wanting them to fight over her attention. (Ie buying 3 kids a toy and not the 4th. Asking only one for a sleepover and not the others, getting nasty at any child who doesn’t want to go with her)
She at times has started being unsafe with the kids. (Left them on the spinny thing at the park until the were vomiting, let my 8 year old drink an entire pack of primas, serving lollies for breakfast and she has been encouraging my girls to run around naked at her house??)
I have attempted to talk to her about these things and did not receive a good outcome.
Naturally I’ve had to put up some very firm but reasonable boundaries and now Mum has accused me of micromanaging her and has become very angry.

I am a mother to my children as number one. But feel incredibly guilty that I am having to protect my kids for their own grandma.

My mother is a very strong Righteous personality that can’t and won’t be told what to do. My dad is also. She is refusing to respect my boundaries and rules with the kids. It’s now has come to the point where our relationship has suffered and I won’t let her see the kids without my supervision.

What on earth do I do? I love my mum, but my kids well-being comes first. I never in a lifetime thought ild ever have to do this.

Help!!!

Posted in:  Behaviour, Kids

8 Replies

Anonymous

You are absolutely 100% should limit her contact with the kids, and she should never be with them without you.
I’d also be encouraging her to seek medical attention.
Keep contact to bare minimum, in public and very short.
I know it’s a challenge and upsetting, we all like to think we can trust my parents but your mum is off the charts.
Behavioural and personality changes can be a sign of early on set dementia and other things and you should not trust her and strongly encourage your dad to get her evaluated.

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Anonymous

I don't mean to worry you but this kind of inappropriate behaviour, abrupt and uncharacteristic personality changes, meanness, anger and irrationality are all signs of Dementia/Alzheimer's or some other form of cognitive decline.
(I used to work in aged care).

I think it's wise to no longer allow grandma unsupervised access, as heartbreaking as that is it's in the kids best interest.

I'd have a blunt chat with your dad about getting her off to the doctors for an assessment.

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Anonymous

Absolutely my thoughts.

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Anonymous

The thing I hate is the favourite playing and trying to make them jealous. My ex MIL used to do the same 😣. For that alone I would be cutting contact to a bare minimum as it affects the kids more than anything else. I also agree maybe shes in the early stages of dementia, not sure what you can do about that whether to give her Dr a message about what you have experienced with her and the changes you have noticed?

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Anonymous

Sounds like the onset of dementia

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Anonymous

Sounds like the onset of dementia

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Anonymous

Sounds like the onset of dementia

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Anonymous

That sounds really tough. Sorry you have to go through that. Definitely get her to the GP for an overall check; bloods and even a brain MRI (from my experience it’s easier said than done though!).
My mums behaviour started changing and we thought it was dementia starting as her mum had it but it ended up being a brain tumour. We didn’t find out until she was rushed to the hospital one day after being found unconscious. I really wish I had acted on my dementia suspicions we may have caught it earlier.
Sending big hugs to you and your children. Wishing you the best possible outcome xx

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