Hi all
I’m unsure if this has been posted before as I can’t seem to do a search here.
I have now been a SAHM for just about 4 years (with the occasional job here and there) and I’ve come to realise that I’ve lost who I am. I want to go back to part time work, preferably in the city to be near my friends as we moved 1.5 hours from the city when we got married and fell pregnant quiet soon after.
My predicament is my husband doesn’t like the idea of us moving closer to the city (albeit it would mean he’d be closer to) and he keeps saying that I would have to pick up and drop the kids off as his work is the “main income” so it’s like it’s all on me to find a way to make it work and he just carry on as it is. How does/did everyone manage this? I feel that every conversation to help me find me again is responded with a too hard response/why would u want to work. I’m over wearing the same clothes I’ve had for years and want my own income so that I don’t have to justify buying that new top-if that makes sense?
Thanks all
6 Replies
Sounds like you know what you want and hubby is throwing lots of barriers and not trying to compromise or work with you at all on this one. Is there any possibility you are able to complete some part time work at home or closer to home and try to fill more time outside of work with some catch ups with friends or other activities? It's not at all okay that you feel like you are going without all the time, I hope he is giving you access to some money..
Good on you wanting to work, that's an awesome step. I definitely found myself through working again.
Is it necessary to pack up and actually move though, just for work? Could you find something a little closer to home or use public transport to access a job? I wouldn't contemplate a move until you have secure a permanent position (aka been there min. 12 months) and are happy in your role :)
I almost could of written this myself. I don’t have any advice but I feel the same. I want to go back to work to be me and not just mum all the time but my husband feels it would be to hard in the kids. We moved almost 2 hours from friends and family a year ago and it can b tough. I use to work full time untill we had our 3rd child and it was hard with kids in after school care holiday care ect. But I’m struggling to find a way to be happy just at home. Ur not alone if that helps.
Your husband is being a dick head. It should be sorted as a family.
Sounds like your hubby doesn't get it. I have worked forever, just time off for maternity leave. I have always done all pick up and drop offs as my hubby is a tradie and works early and often miles from home and it was different locations weekly. My kids used before and after school care, and I got it done. I love that i earn my own cash, great for self esteem and that new pair of shoes if you want them. great role modeling for your kids too, mums can be what they want anything from SAHM to full time CEO and everything in between don't let his excuse as a reason not to do something that you want need. Is he threatened that you might put earn him? or that his friends / family might not agree with you working, understanding his why might make the do easier, and it's okay to stand your ground for something you want. Good Luck
I’m a single mum and I’ve managed to work and many others also.
Childcare, after/before school care.
Kids when older get bus home.
There’s many options available to you.
I kind of agree if he’s making the money and you’re likely looking for part time, that you should arrange the kids.