Hi
Please, I need help dealing with this. One of the mum's at my son's school copies A lot of things I do with my son. I've only ever once sad where my son goes swimming, then 2 weeks later she has booked in at the same time. She found out my son does tennis and has booked her kids in same time/day (she has twins). My son is starting at a new school and now she has msg'd me saying she has an interview with the same school. Trouble is one of her son's is extremely destructive in class and is very obsessed with my son, to the point where it really aggravates me, a lot. And for this reason of possesivness I felt the need to change schools before my son got older and into high school.
My question is, do I see the principal of new school (private) or leave it be.
I'm feeling devastated.
School Mother Copying
School Mother Copying
Posted in:
Life Lessons
21 Replies
I'm speechless.
This post cannot be real? These places are public places and you expect others not to join? I hardly see the three issues you've writen in about as 'copying'.
And the destructive child of hers sounds like he has underlying issues such as Autism or ADHD he has possibly been diagnosed with, but yet it 'aggravates' you to the point you want to move your own childs school because they're obsessive?
She messages you because you gave her a way to contact you, you tell her things, and then overreact when she sees you are being friendly by responding to her. But you are actually incredibly two faced
Maybe change your snobby entitled attitude and stop making mountains out of molehills
Ahhhh perfectly delivered and straight down the line answer honest and fruitful answer to her queries girl......Seriously I like itđź‘Ś
As for you sorry I got wrapped up in the first honest and all bitch bullshit barred answering a question on this page.....Best I’ve seen in a while and seriously to be honest it’s not being mean or anything hurtful and nasty at all towards urself love.....We all need a reality check every now and then especially when you’re a man in the 30’s .....Every male has other males that know em well enough for a good pull ya head in or get it done for you friends around....They are genuine people and honestly don’t wanna see what silly minister things like your worries and concerns about your children and the other family............I know with my daughter she has had her number one friends and she started prep and if she was so she’s got a really good friends i’m stuck together now she’s in grade for grade 4 now but if that person is Brett night the four of them but I know if Charlotte the first friend she made when she started prep went to another school Sienna will come home that afternoon that she found out asking if she could go to that school and in all honesty you should be kinda proud of yourself and your son forgiving of that positive energy and Influencing other children that way it’s a good thing they obviously respect you guys a lot and like the previous poster said.......I bet you’re fine and yeah just an unnecessary worry and that other boy that’s hanging around your son or whatever I bet my right nut on it he’s a really decent and harmless child That might be a little overbearing and make you nervous when you see him around your boy I’m Sure and no doubt make your boy a little bit uncomfortable also but I bet my left nut on it also your son makes him feel happy he’s comfortable around Your boy I’d say he has Anziety or really shy and probably doesn’t have a lot of friends I was really shy that’s cool I’m still in now but I wasn’t overbearing but as previous poster said I’ll Old mellow out just as soon as you mellow out observe and even just Talk about with the other mother asked the question she seems like she tell you straight up but probably shy herself also like me..... yeah that’s life there’s people out there you don’t wanna be around and will bring it down and there’s people out there that bring the best out of others Talk to the other mother that’s first thing to me it sounds like She’s probably welcome having a coffee with you at tennis and talking about the kids you would know probably a single mother with a fucking ex partner that bashed her up in front the kids or something you never know but it’s just always good to see if they are needing to help,hurt or harmless in anyways....You never know mate I’ve heard & seen some wicked and wild and horrifying stories from quiet a few single mothers gone and actually meet up with lately and Just listening to the story of people’s lives and experiences and difficulties and stuff they’ve gone through it’s just the mind boggles and it’s some people have a really good spirit in them you know and some people are just rotten soles.... You’ll never know if stories are fictional assholes
or Genuine hearted humans
I think you're over thinking things. Those are public places and they're common activities, as for the school well maybe that school has a good reputation (why are you sending your kid there?) I very highly doubt she is copying you.
I have no idea why you have stated the school is private, does it really matter if its public or private ? I think you just want to expolit in your writing what you believe to be prestige . The whole post is so entitled and bratty it's literally unbelievable that it has been written
I'd say she included the fact it's a private school because she believes that gives her some strings to pull in order to keep this other child out.
Public school everyone's welcome (within reason).
Private schools are a little more exclusive and selective.
What you might not see from your perspective is that maybe your child's influence on hers is a positive one. If she's battling behavioural issues of course she will encourage that to continue.
Is your son learning to swim? Does it really matter if this other kid is in the group?
Is your son learning tennis? Does it matter if her kids are in the group?
You moving your school may have made her think she could make better schooling choices for hers. None of these are bad things, none are threatening your son in any way.
Just remember imitation is the highest form of flattery, and if you don't want her copying something don't bloody tell her about it.
Maybe that swim school and that time was the only one available?
In my area, we only have about 5 options for swim lessons so you kinda have to take what you can get.
Same goes with tennis, there's literally one tennis school in my entire city (I know this because it's 2 minutes away from my house)? Maybe her kids are genuinely interested in tennis and she doesn't actually give a shit what you do with your son...
The school issue:
Firstly, I think that's a ridiculous reason to completely uproot your child and move schools. My kid had a similar situation with a friend being possessive and causing distractions, I asked the principal to place them in separate classes the following year, the other kid made some new friends, so did my kid and they only see each other in the playground these days - now it's a non issue.
Clearly, your only intention behind speaking to the principal of your son's new school is to sway their decision about offering this other child a spot in the school. That's incredibly self serving...
I understand why it seems unsettling. However, she might be struggling & holds a great deal of respect for you, so thinks if something's good enough for your kids she'll try that option. It might be coincidence. Where we are it's impossible to pick swim class times. Just getting Saturday morning classes requires master manouvering!!
Also, there are children with additional needs, bad behaviour & everything in between in every class, every school.
You might want to delete this post before you get “hammered”.
Saying it as loud as I can, NOT ALL MUMS FIND IT EASY!
Maybe she didn't know where to start with swimming lessons, or enrolling the kids into an after school activity, and when you did so she did so because she is learning along the way.
Or you know, she has some anxiety and seeing a familiar face makes her feel at ease and she is confident to do so.
There's destructive kids at every school, just because you ave switched to a private school doesn't mean this isn't going to be similar behaviour. In fact, there was probably more disruptive kids at my private school.
I promise your chat to the principal of the private school - will warn them more about you then the twins.
While your conversation will not in anyway affectively stop them from coming - they may just put them in a seperate class..
As others have said - kids like to do things with mates... so the swimming and the tennis thing are not about copying.. frankly they are not about you.. it’s about one her child learning survival skills or finding a passion in sport...
You need some self reflection
I'm utterly speechless.
I asked someone at my son's school where they do tennis lessons. They told me, I contacted the club and enrolled my son. We now chat and chill as our kids play tennis.
I asked a friend where she takes her son swimming, she told me and I enrolled my son there. What you don't know if that we were with another swim school then they had huge staff turnover and the new times for lessons became impossible for us.
Your attitude says more about you then the other family.
Same here!
My friend mentioned a particular swimming school in conversation one day, I looked into it and chose to send my kids there because it was highly reputable and affordable.
My son picks his sports usually based one what his friends are doing or what's popular at that given period in time (e.g., summer it's cricket and tennis - winter it's soccer and football).
I know quite a few people who chose schools because they were highly regarded by friends who's opinions they value.
This whole idea of copying is quite childish really.
We chose the school my kids are at after realising the boy my eldest was friends with in kindy was going there. I didn't want my son starting school without an ally. And when I looked at the school, it was good an feeds my highschool preference for the area. it wasn't copying. It was an informed choice. One that served us well as they're still joined at the hip 6 years on despite only ever being in the same class once. They'll be lifelong friends I'd say.
I also changed my daughter's dance school after hearing a mum talk about hers. Also a great decision.
Wow! You need some professional help. Please see your gp ASAP and organise a mental health plan.
I find it very funny that this was posted twice🤣
When they're ppsted twice its usually an accident. It happens if you press the post button twice in quick succession by mistake.
I know, I just find it funny.
You need to sit down. Do you really think you’re that exciting or special that someone would be copying you?
Parents get ideas for sports and schools from other parents. I promise you, you’re not that special
Definitely talk to the Principal at the new school. You can't stop them from accepting the other family, but you can make your son's situation known and communicate in writing that there are obviously potential health risks for him (physical and mental) if this child is placed in the same class or allowed access to your son. If they know about this beforehand and allow this child into the school it makes them partially liable if anything happens.
As for the other activities, this other parent obviously values your choices and considers you to be a good parent. The only way to reduce the contact is by limiting the information available to her. She can't copy what she doesn't know.