Closure or harassment?

Anonymous

Closure or harassment?

Hello dear Sisterhood!

I’m writing this anonymously as it’s still a bit of a sore subject for me.

I have a 2 year old son. At 3 months of age I started noticing small spot like bruises on my sons ears from where his ears had folded over while I was feeding him. I thought it was odd but wasn’t too concerned as he was born prem and he may just need another vitamin K shot. Then I noticed a long linear bruise on his arm from the seam in his onesie and took him to the doctor for advice. My GP agreed that it was unusual and ordered some blood tests, which showed that his clotting factor was abnormal. My GP sent me straight to the emergency ward to see the paediatrician on staff.

This is where things start to go downhill.

The paed listened to what I told him, looked at the blood test results, redid them to check for any changes and everything came back the same. Now, anyone who has had to have blood drawn from a 12 week old baby knows that that’s traumatic enough, but despite 2 abnormal blood results the doctor contacted Child Protection and reported a ‘non-mobile infant with unexplained bruising to his limbs’.
This triggered two things, 1: a full assessment, during which it was noted that my son had unusually stretching skin and hyper mobile joints, and Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS) was discussed (this is important later). The same doctor who suggested it quickly dismissed it as ‘it’s incredibly rare’, despite myself having many of the same symptoms. Mainly being easy bruising, hyper mobility, stretchy and velvety skin, etc.
2: Child Protection issued a supervision order, which meant my children were temporarily placed in the care of my parents.

After 3 long months of court appearances, specialist reports supporting us and many complaints of unprofessional behaviour, non-truths (erroneous report to Child Protection, malicious reports written to the court) and malpractice (subjecting my son to an unsafe amount of X-rays to check for any other injuries, causing him physical injury during the xrays), Child Protection withdrew with apologies from the regional manager, the hospital issued a formal apology (not the doctor, mind you, he has refused to admit any wrongdoing) and we moved on.

But my question tonight is; My son and I have both received an official diagnosis of EDS. Would it be considered harassment if I made an appointment with the doctor that triggered all of this and show him he was in the wrong? Will pursuing this to get closure risk legal action against myself? I desperately want to wave this in his face and show him without a shadow of a doubt that he wrongly caused my family so much distress and trauma.

Posted in:  Health & Wellbeing, Baby & Toddler

12 Replies

Anonymous

Oh do not do that. Don't make a false Drs appointment. Contact him if you must, but be transparent that you wish to meet to show him and would like an apology and maybe to make sure he doesnt put another family through that.
I don't know if he'll give you the time of day but I do know that for closure, you dont need anything from him. Hes played his part in the story and you'll move forward now without anything from him. (And I would steer clear just in case he's a real ass and puts a second report in against you, saying you showed up aggressively or mishandling your kids again, you wont be able to explain why else you made the appointment with him, it could really go against you)

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Anonymous

You won’t get closure from that scenario. You will come away with a fee for the appointment and feeling more frustrated than before. Any apology from the doctor will not satisfy you anyway.

If you are really set on an apology I’d contact a medical lawyer.

What happened to your family was horrible, but closure is usually something we have to give ourselves, when we seek it from others it never really satisfies and feels empty and forced.

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Anonymous

Wow!
First of all I am so sorry you all went through something so traumatic. I really hope you can find some peace now the worst of it is over ❤

I'd actually be making a formal complaint about that doctor, it's narrow minded doctors like this who misdiagnose patients and next time that happens, the consequences could be fatal. He needs to be investigated.

I don't know that making an appointment with him directly is a great idea (though I completely get why it would feel so satisfying), it could definitely land you in some hot water and that's the last thing you need after all you've been through.

I don't think it would hurt to get some legal advice if you really want to persue this though, someone who specializes in medical malpractice would be ideal.

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Anonymous

OP here, thank you for commenting. I have submitted a couple of formal complaints against him, one to his paediatric practice and one to the hospital he was contracted to. Both dismissed the complaint basically saying it’s not their problem. I have even gone to AHPRA with a complaint but never heard anything back. I also made complaints about the Child Protection worker for his behaviour. I know he was disciplined as I work alongside Child Protection in family services and heard on the grape vine (small town) that he was transferred into a non-client facing role after mishandling a sensitive case. Whether or not that was in relation to my family, or he truly is that incompetent and my complaint was just the straw that broke the camels back.

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Anonymous

My family and I were reported to Child protection as payback 4 years ago. It was hell. Utter utter hell and tied up valuable resources. It was just so wrong on every single level and cause a lot of stress.

The person who did it out of spite ( my sister in-laws partner) has been completely and utterly cut out of our lives (along with sister in law). And we still don't know why. And it has taken us years to be able to let go of that anger, that pure rage. Letters from DHHS did little to settle my range. I wanted someone to pay for what they did to our family. In the end, for our own mental wellbeing, we let go. And focused on us and moving forward and the change has been brilliant.

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Anonymous

What a horrible thing to have happened. That would have turned so many lives upside down, yours and your partners, your kids, your parents. It would be so hard to just get over so I really do get why you want to do this. I'm not sure I would make an appointment but if there's an option to leave a review for him I would do it stating what you went through and then finally getting the diagnosis that he could have investigated at the start but didn't. You went through hell may as well stop others doing the same. It's not slander if its true.

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Anonymous

He won't care what you show him. Probably won't even remember you tomorrow. You can always take him to court though for damages you deserve some kind of compensation for what he put you and your child through. Legal action could even be enough for him to offer that written apology.

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Anonymous

I think you should make an appointment with a psychologist instead. Process what has happened, why people did what they did and find a way to put it behind you.

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Anonymous

I think you perspective is a little warped here.

Fact is that children do get abused by parents. I actually find comfort in that he reported those findings. In your case it’s innocent but as you said you and your son have a RARE disorder...

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Anonymous

Agree, the Dr didn’t necessarily do anything wrong. He has concerns amd reported. What happened after that is out of his hands. I have made multiple reports to child protection that I thought were really low risk. But would have felt awful had I not and something was off. Usually reports are followed up with a visit, they find nothing wrong and that’s it. We are mandated to report any concerns

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Anonymous

Honestly I think the doctor has done the right thing. Imagine next time he sees a non mobile infant with bruises...doesn't report it and a few weeks later the baby dies from abuse. Everyone would be outraged that it wasn't reported in the first place. He was just doing his job. He has a duty of care to report. Just because he reported you doesn't mean he believed you to be abusing your child but there was a possibility you could have been so he took it to child safety. It is horrible what you went through and I'm sorry it happened to you but it is by no means this doctors fault. I am glad there are people out in the community looking out for our children.

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Anonymous

Doctors are mandatory reporters which means if they suspect anything they need to report it, He did not make the decision to remove your children, it is not his decisions to make. Someone else used the information he gave and other evidence to remove your children. There must be more to this story.

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