Would this be a problem for you?

Anonymous

Would this be a problem for you?

Would you feel hurt/insecure or offended if you found out your partner had been "liking" heaps of local girls (particularly ones you went to school with a decade ago) selfies and bikini photos on instagram or is it a complete non-issue?

I dont follow many males on instagram and I feel like if I was liking heaps of local guys photos (where they were showing off their ripped bodies) I would be crossing a line...

Also pregnant and could totally just be hormonal insecure turd right now...

Posted in:  Relationships & Marriage

13 Replies

Anonymous

Yes its definitely an issue to me

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Anonymous

I wouldn’t be ok with it, but it depends on your boundaries. You’re not feeling ok with it so you need to discuss it with him. Tell him how you are feeling. Ask him how he would feel if you were liking lots of guys photos. If he wouldn’t like you doing it to him, he shouldn’t be doing it to you.

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Anonymous

It's only an issue if you want it to be.

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Anonymous

Just curious if you are meaning in a way that I am trying to find or make an issue within my relationship? Just not really sure what you mean by "if I want it to be"? Coz like, of course I dont want issues... 🤣

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Anonymous

She just means if you want it to bother you. It's a choice. It either bothers you or it doesn't. In your case it does. You choose to let it. And unfortunately our emotions start rolling in situations like this, but it all comes from choice. And that choice is based on trust.

So it ultimately is that you don't trust him. You think the 'likes' might lead him to have an affair. Which deeper again, might be that he has before.

And even deeper still, if he hasn't perviously had an affair, find out 'why' you don't trust him. 'Likes' alone are not a reason. You absolutely have something deeper going on.

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Anonymous

Alternatively, it's a value held by you. This crosses the line of what you want in a healthy relationship. The 'choice' to not 'make it an issue' will not make it ok with you internally.

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Anonymous

It would bother me.

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Anonymous

I feel the same have had the same issue come up on my relationship

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Anonymous

Just insta girls in general, I wouldn't like it but what are you going to do..
Local girls. That's a whole different kettle of fish.
He sounds like a creeper. Might not be the motivation at all but it's certainly the vibe I get when you stipulated these are local women that you know.
Local means in his mind, access.

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Anonymous

Also pregnant so he's being extra hurtful and superficial right now. Not what he should be thinking about at all. Not what you deserve your friend's and acquaintances to be thinking about right now, how your husbands a creeper.

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Anonymous

For me it’s not about cheating or not cheating.

It’s about the type of person he is and where his morals are at.
I don’t behave that way and choose to surround myself with people who are on the same/similar thinking/behaviour.

It would make me question who he is as a person.

It’s like being with a guy and he cat calls another women (in my presence or otherwise). It’s just gross and I wouldn’t want to be with someone that behaved that way.

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Anonymous

My hubby cringes seeing girls we went to school with who feel the need to do that. You know, the whole idea of camera whoring. He said. “Wonder what there husbands think of this” so no it’s definitely not appropriate for your husband to do that if your not comfortable with it.

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Anonymous

I totally thought I didn't care about this kind of thing .... Until it happened to me. My husband had been liking a girls photos, she didn't even live in the same state as us. He was shocked when I confronted him in tears. Im normally the wife the points out a good bum. But this felt like it was behind my back and secretive, more then one photo of one particular girl. And I was going through a tough time with my own self esteem post partum. We worked through it and I'm still hurt but it definitely wasn't something if end my marriage over. I guess our boundaries weren't clear and that there is a time and place for that.

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