Pregnant and lost...

Anonymous

Pregnant and lost...

***long post warning***
Im 20weeks pregnant with my first girl, which should be a great and amazing, but instead I feel so empty and alone. Lately it seems like everyone has kicked me when I'm down and I just want to run away. The short list of the main things are:
1. I sold my car to my sister for $3600 to be paid in installments, she's almost paid of half and is now swearing I said $2600. I would never, the car is up an worth over $5000. But now my mum and sister have ganged up on me and pressured me into agreeing.
2. My 2 oldest boys 13 and 8, my 8 being diagnosed with adhd and autism. They've taken to constantly lying, fighting, never being grateful, stealing and destroying the house (holes in walls, broken windows, broken furniture). I took us for a drive to the beach and all I got was complaints and back talk, it was so disheartening.
3. My 2 year old son is refusing to have anything to do with me lately, only wants dad. Will scream non stop until he gets dad, won't even say I love you anymore.
4. And all this could be bearable if my main support hadn't just broken my heart. I found out the day of the gender untrasound and the week prior he has been sexting and sending nudes to other women. We have been together for almost 4 years but about 2 years ago this had been an issue we faced and I thought overcome. I don't even know what possessed me to look, I had his permission from his previous time, but I just woke up 4am and had this overwhelming need to look. I felt so shattered and broken. We have spoken about it a little where he admitted he isn't sure he will ever completely be able to stop, it's not physical, but he can't stand the thought of losing me. I don't want to be a single mum again and lose him either but I don't think I can stay with someone who is compelled to do this.
I need help, just someone to help me make sense of all this and give me direction please...

Posted in:  Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Health & Wellbeing, Kids

3 Replies

Anonymous

Firstly GP for a mental health care plan. There is a lot going on and you need support.

The car- do you have any texts or emails proving that the deal was $3600? If so basically your only recourse his small claims court (after you’ve shown your sister and mum you have evidence). Otherwise you’ll just have to take this as a hard life lesson.

Your 2 year old will go through different phases and in the future you will be the favourite again.

Mr 13 and 8 both need behavioural support. So start using your kids mental health care plans to get that. I’m sure mr 8s diagnosis will help with getting some clarity but also Mr 13 needs help too. But kids this age are going to whinge and carry on from time to time. I’m more concerned about the violence than the whinging and you might need to pick your battles (get the big things under control and focus on the little later).

You’ve got a lot on your plate right now. what’s happening with your partner is so sh*t but the entire situation sounds chaotic. Is your partner contributing to the chaos or is he contributing to the chaos?

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Anonymous

If you sold the car, what did the transfer papers say? There is a value you need to put on it that is based on the sale price. Can't remember what it's for but it's $10 For every $1000 of the sale price or something. That will prove the agreed upon price. If she didn't get a transfer document signed, the car's still legally yours. You could repossess it but that will probably make things worse for you overall. Frankly, the stuff with the kids sounds normal, especially if you have a child that is ADHD and ASD. My concern would be the sexting. If he doesn't think he can give it up, then he's made his choice. It's more important than you. Pretty crap choice really.

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Anonymous

I can't assist with the first few issues you are going with. But I do have experience with your last problem.

I went through it, and was the same as you - I didn't want to be alone or without him - I had to take a good look at what I deserved as not only a woman, but a human. If this isn't something you've agreed to, and something he has said he can't stop. You need to see if you can live without him, or move on living with him and what he's doing.

I personally moved on. Took a year to myself. And found my now husband.

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