I need help, I have recently split up with my partner of 11 years because he chose ice. We have 3 kids together and now at bed time they act up and I end up yelling at them, he hasn’t spoken or seen them in 2 months, when he was home he wouldn’t help. So our routine hasn’t changed it’s dinner, shower, book then sleep. The kids are 8,5 & 2
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They are going through change. You are going through a lot. Be gentle. Make it your mission to put them to bed peacefully. No shouting. They can act up but you're responsible for how you react. Get them everything they need. Maybe start a new routine. Get everything done and ready. Read to them. Or lie with them while an Audio book plays (no screens). Then say good night and leave. So you have that peaceful part at the end no matter whats gone on in the lead up.
They're all still very young. You might need to decide if it works best to divide and conquer or put all together and lie in the dark. Will older one read or listen to an Audio book with headphones alone while you do the younger 2?
Or does the little one have milk and sleep first? Figure out what will work best, help them set the routine, and do your best to make sure the last thing before they sleep is kind and peaceful and leaves them feeling good and loved.