Hi sisterhood,
I’m after advice on how to approach my 7 year old daughter.
She has always been beyond her years but she is acting7 going on 17, which I know can be normal. But I don’t like the way she acts and I don’t know how to approach it with her. I was wondering if there are any good books, videos, pod casts that are age appropriate or if anyone can offer a way to talk to her about it.
The issue is... she is always talking about boys/boyfriends. Always looking in the mirror and making pouting lips, talking with her hands (if you know what I mean) just acting really inappropriately for a 7 year old girl. I’m so worried she is going to end up pregnant by the time she is 13. It just comes across as so tarty and I’m not like that at all. She wrote a letter to a boy at school “dear X, who do you like, me, X or X.. circle one. Ps I won’t tell anyone”
We have a great relationship and so far she tells me everything and are very close (single mumma) I’ve tried to ignore it, talk to her about how it’s inappropriate but I’m not sure what else to do. I don’t want to make her feel like she can’t be herself or make her feel ashamed for behaving like this. I could understand if she was older or going through hormonal changes but she is 7! And she has a 5 year old sister who I don’t want any of these behaviours rubbing off on.
Any advice is much appreciated.
Thank you xxx
7 Replies
Little girls always want to be older girls and when we're older we want to be younger 🤣. I don't know how old I was but all I wanted was boobs when I was little, mostly to feed my dolls but I just wanted to be grown up. I had a crush in kindy and I think I had a new one every year. This was in the 80's so long before YouTube and tic toc and whatever else they want to blame now. I think it's normal, she really is not far off being a preteen when it gets worse. I think you don't need to worry unless she is showing sexual behaviour before her time, this is not sexual behaviour.
This behaviour is not an indicator that she will end up pregnant as a teenager.
It’s pretty normal behaviour for some girls at this age, and I remember behaving somewhat the same. However by the time I was 13 I’d grown out of this phase and far more balanced. I saw that kind of behaviour as embarrassing to be honest and silly little girl behaviour.
Little girls are not tarty. Even if as an adult she is forward with men, so what? Still not tarty.
I’d focus on her not being disruptive in class. Writing notes to anyone about anything in class is disruptive.
As the other responder said, this isn’t sexual behaviour.
Remove the word tarty (and all the ones similar) from your vocabulary for starters.
It's a derogatory slur that insinuates certain behaviour equals sexual promiscuity and it's used to diminish a woman's value.
She's 7 - this isn't sexual or immoral in any way.
I wouldn't make a fuss about it to be honest. Pull up rude, disrespectful or smart ass behavior without a doubt but if she just wants to be a bit flamboyant and express her interest in boys - there's not really anything wrong with that.
I honestly think the more you try and tell her this is wrong or inappropriate, the more it's likely to impact her self esteem.
I would however try and broaden her interests and shift her focus, some kind of team sport maybe, girl guides or scouts, art lessons or music lessons - something creative.
All seems like pretty normal behaviour for that age. I think the only inappropriate thing about it is that as a women and mother your referring to a child as tart and insinuating she will be pregnant by 13. That is a lot of negative feelings towards a small child that has no idea of sex. I feel it would be like someone judging a single mother as being easy a whore or unable to keep a man. Never nice to be judged, especially as a child
Yes little girls are interested acting older but I also think that there is a fine line between it being appropriate or inappropriate.
I think it might be beneficial for you to think about where this obsession (maybe?) comes from. Is it watching certain shows, having older friends or something else? If there is something that is obviously influencing her maybe she should have a bit less of it.
I don’t think it’s abnormal to be boy obsessed however in the same situation i’d probably look at trying to find activities, hobbies or other interests for her to channel her thoughts to instead.
Well I'm with you in worrying it's inappropriate and not liking the way it comes off, quite superficial.
Perhaps call it Sassy and also dont be afraid to set boundaries like let her talk about boys to you and the games they play at school but shes not allowed to have one until she's 18. Make it a joke maybe and nip the conversation and turn it towards other things in her day.
Limit the Instagram/youtube/social media, wherever she’s getting it from.
I believe it isn’t you, I’m sure you aren’t rebecca Judd or Kim kardashian lol
My son is 12 and talks like an American gamer lol I can live with that, but this, I wouldn’t like either.
She’s getting it from somewhere, so just limit that.
Maybe even find a good woman role model online and let her watch their channel.
A woman who does crafts or something interesting with a skill she can emulate.
It’s very hard parenting in this day and age, I feel you ❤️