Work/Life Balance

Anonymous

Work/Life Balance

Are you a stay at home mum? Or a part-time/full-time working mum? Are you kids at school? Daycare? kinder? With family etc?

The reason I ask is I am so torn. I have 3 young kids (5, 4 and 3). I have worked throughout (having time off on maternity leave). I have worked full time & part time (4 days a week). But I feel like I am always behind the 8 ball, and after years I am really starting to reassess.

Hubby and I both work shift work. The youngest 2 are in daycare 3 days a week & the eldest in Prep. Although it’s working ok, juggling shifts/pick up and drop off.. I still feel like I’m behind at home. That my kids aren’t getting the best out of me as I’m always tired from work, or when not working.. busy trying to jam housework into minimum hours...

I am considering dropping to two days a week.. but that would obviously be a considerable drop in pay... but then is the money really worth it at the expense of the kids/household.

No judgement here. I’d just really love to know what people do & what made them come to that decision. Do you regret it? Are you better than ever? Or what would you change?

Thank you!

Posted in:  Relationships & Marriage, Self Care, Parenthood Guilt, Health & Wellbeing

13 Replies

Anonymous

I do full time, 5 days a week. I sometimes wish I worked less, however I tried it and I honestly just wasn't a good parent in doing so. I couldn't handle the home life and being so isolated with the kids, they too weren't thriving with just me around. There was only so many playcentres and parks we could visit and after a while it was stale.

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Anonymous

Thank you for responding. I did think this too. I struggled big time on maternity leave (having a newborn, 13mo & 2.5yo didn’t help) but I do feel I will struggle again if I completely drop back. The kids really thrive at daycare/school, I find the days I’m home we don’t end up doing anything. You have definitely given me another perspective, thank you :)

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Anonymous

I work part time x3 days and it suits our family. Anymore I was running around, never on top of anything, grumpy with the kids, crappy dinners. I just couldn’t seem to do it all. We now have less money but I feel it’s been worth it for me and the kids. I also understand some people have to work full time and to those I say you are amazing.

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Anonymous

Thank you for replying. I feel like I need to trial 3 days. At the moment I’m exactly how you have described, always a step behind & it’s very overwhelming!

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Anonymous

I work 3 days. It feels doable.

It’s so much harder when they are at school though managing those hours versus day care.

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Anonymous

Thank you for responding. I think I will trial 3 days first! But as you say, will get harder as they get older. I didn’t even think of that!

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Anonymous

Everyone is different and this parenting thing is much tougher than anyone ever shares.

For me 3 days is the perfect balance - between managing my sanity, our family finances and squeezing in some extra curricular activities.

Good luck mumma!

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Anonymous

The older they get the more they need you around. Trust me I had 5 spread from 18-5 and it’s the teenagers who benefit the most from me being available. I took redundancy when my eldest was 15. Best decision I ever made. Money wise it’s tough but being there in the morning and in the afternoons, being available to talk or drive when they need me has been invaluable in our relationship. If I was you I would cut down to 3 days, then 2 then maybe 1 whilst they do 14 up.

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Anonymous

Thank you for your advice. It is very true, I didn’t even think of the importance as they get older (I suppose I feel they will be babies forever!). I’m going to do as you’ve suggested, trial 3 days and see how I go!

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Anonymous

I work full-time. Afternoon shift, then changed to morning shift.
My tips are;
Meal plan, once you make a meal plan save it. When you've made a few you can just rotate them occasionally adding something new to shake it up a bit.
Batch cook, cook double sized meals, keep adding to a freezer stash for nights you typically struggle to get something on the table.
Hire a cleaner. Not for the everyday stuff but those bigger jobs that chew into your weekends. Mine vacuums, steam mops, cleans the shower, the oven. There's 2 here for 2 hours so after those are done they'll hang out washing or sweep down cobwebs or wipe benches, whatever they see needs doing. You could look at it as a waste of money but it's 1/3 of a days wage and those jobs would take me a whole day - and leave me in enough pain that I couldn't do anything the next day either.
Keeping in the game has meant continuing up the ladder in my chosen career organically as the opportunities arose rather than stalling and trying to catch up later.

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Anonymous

I've worked fulltime in hospitality since my 4th was a few months old and my 1st was in kindy. 4th is now in kindy and 1st is in high school next year and I have so many regrets. I am now changing careers to a 9-5 mon-fri job and I'm so excited! I'll still be fulltime but I wont ever have to juggle nights or weekends and it feels like a whole new world has opened up! I am a single Mum so dropping to part time isnt an option because their father pays nothing, but I'm excited because I can now take time off if I need to attend important functions with my kids and the huge pay cut (approx 200 a week) to me is worth it. I too dont handle being at home too much because I feel like I drown more if I'm not busy, and the kids love after school care and hate bring picked up early or not going so it's a win win for all of us. You need to do what's right for all of you, good luck Mumma!

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Anonymous

I worked full time until my daughter was 7 and am a single mum. I felt how you do and dropped to 20 hours a week until she finished primary school. It was the best thing I ever did for both of us. We had no money but they were the best years and so glad I did it.

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Anonymous

Full time working teacher here, 2 kids aged 3 and 7.
Hubby has flexibility with his hours so does all the school drop off and pick ups.
I just had about a two hour long cry. Doesn’t feel like I do anything well right now. Our work load has increased so much with COVID. I actually don’t know what the answer is.
Teaching and part time work is rare. I think we’re about to see a lot of good teachers leave as what we’re doing right now is not sustainable

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