I feel like lately I have begun to resent my husband regarding the kids. I don’t want to but I am just struggling with the fact that he can go off and do jobs or travel to places while I stay with the kids or even to the point that the kids prefer me to put them to bed so I often find myself in with them most of the night while he gets time to himself. It’s not a case of him being a lousy dad. He helps with the kids heaps. I can’t really explain it and not sure what my question is but I guess how does a sahm not resent their hubby for having a life outside the kids when that seems to be my life.
7 Replies
Put the kids in day care and go back to work? Then you get to have the same thing as he does. It’s not fair to resent him if he is helpful and supportive IF you chose to be a sahm
The grass isn’t greener, believe me.
When I had a husband, I worked three days a week, it was perfect.
Miss those days.
Maybe you could work part time?
If he’s a good dad than you can do what you want? Let him take over putting them to bed some nights and go for a walk, gym, or have some free time.
And put the kids in care and work.
You’re not forced to stay home by the sounds of it
It's a choice and only you can decide to choose differently.
You know how silly it is to resent the man that supports the family you've made together.
Put the blame where it belongs, squarely on the shoulders of the fact you are unsatisfied with the current position you find yourself in (which is fucking AOK BTW, some people can be happy stay at home parents but it's not for everyone), take some time to think over what you think you might want to do (part time work, volunteering, start a small business, study) then discuss how to make it happen.
As for now, it doesn't matter if the kids prefer you putting them to bed. Maybe if you're in there most of the night they prefer you because they can manipulate you to stay awake later? It won't kill them to have dad put them to bed a few nights a week. Look at what you're both doing and find a middle ground.
Why not put the kids into childcare and get yourself a part time job? I'm most definitely NOT a sahm material. I'm a much better mum got working. Being a sahm is not for everyone and that's perfectly fine!!! Not all of us are happy staying home day after day. Get a part time job and you will have adult interaction, stimulation etc.
Don't resent him for something you can fix.
I felt this way too, I was a stay at home mum for 15 yearsa and then started chasing my dream career as an aged care nurse earlier this year. My hubby and I ended up switching roles, I work he stays home! I had to study first so I could find a job, it was a bit difficult juggling it all, especially since my work placement was 8 hours from home but I got there and I love being the working mum now, big difference in my overall mental health which in turn has led to a healthier relationship with my husband