PlayStation ruining my marriage

Anonymous

PlayStation ruining my marriage

I don’t even know where to begin with this but I need advice before I have a complete mental breakdown.
A bit of background - I work full time, currently working from home due to covid. I also have a 2 year old at home full time. My husband does not work.
My husband is a gamer and he is extremely lazy, It is a battle to get him to do absolutely anything.
He will stay up all night playing his PlayStation, he then sleeps until well after lunchtime while I battle trying to look after a 2 year and work my full time job.
He goes weeks without showering. He rarely helps around the house unless I loose it or nag him. He just plays his PlayStation all the time and leave a trail of rubbish and mess behind him. I ask him to change my sons nappy and I will walk in the room an hour later and the OPEN dirty nappy is sitting on the couch or on the floor. He can’t be relied on to feed our son a semi healthy meal cause it’s easier to just give him chips biscuits and snacks while he plays his game. We do not spend any time together, we have zero intimacy. I feel like all his mates hear my entire life cause he is constantly on the headset playing with the microphone on.
I can’t even hold a decent conversation with this man anymore. When I confront him or get mad he either denies how much he plays or he will deflect onto me saying you don’t even notice when I try ect. I have decided to start keeping a log of his time on the game and in the last 3 days he has played for over 12 hours each day. Monday he played from 9am-7pm when we had dinner, he then got back on the game after dinner until I don’t know when cause I went to bed. Tuesday he played from the time he woke at 1pm until dinner at 7pm he then got back on the game and I laid in bed awake until 2am and he was still playing. Today he woke at 1:30 and got on the game at 3pm and he is still playing now at 11pm he doesn’t even know I’ve gone to bed because he couldn’t even hear me yelling at him. We have this same argument every week and he apologises and says he will try harder but we always end up back here.
I’m so over living like this I don’t know what I have done to deserve this? Why he can’t be normal and just make an effort to be a part of this family and this household? Why is he even here with me if all he wants is to play his game?
I love this man with all my heart I don’t want to live my life without him but this is killing me I’m full of resentment towards him, I look at him and I’m annoyed and angry. I’m exhausted and I’m so lonely. I’m slowly falling into a really bad place because of the state of my marriage and I don’t know what to. The only thing that keeps me going is my son if I didn’t have him I would have given into my negative thoughts by now.

Posted in:  Relationships & Marriage

16 Replies

Anonymous

It’s time to kick him out.

It’s time to put you and your son first. I also suggest talking to your GP about a mental health care plan for yourself.

You are mentally exhausted because you are trying to make him change and that’s never going to happen. You love the potential of the guy, not the reality of the guy. He’s never going to live up to his potential.

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Anonymous

Pack all his shit with his play station on top and tell him get out. It sounds like your married to a sooky 15 year old boy, not a man.

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Anonymous

It’s time to call it quits. Kick him to the kerb.

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Anonymous

He may as well not even be there and you probably won’t even miss him if he’s gone. Let him do what he wants at his own place.

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Anonymous

So youre unhappy (very fairly) and when you bring it up he ignores or gives shit responses, so that gets nowhere. So whata next? Kick him out. Dont tell me you're keeping him there FOR your son? Really think that through.

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Anonymous

I was married to a gamer 🤦🏻‍♀️ Note the word ‘was’. We’re not married now. Things didn’t get better and he didn’t change nor engage with the kids. I felt like a single parent with an adult child living with me. Because effectively that’s what I was. It got to the point I couldn’t handle it anymore.

He still games all the time. Lives with a family member of his, has multiple short term girl friends and see the kids 1 day a fortnight 🤷🏻‍♀️

Some people just don’t ever grow up past teenage hood.

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Anonymous

Why do you love him? I think you really need to ask yourself that.

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Anonymous

Ewwwww get rid of him. You deserve better than that, and you know it.

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Anonymous

Unfortunately it seems to be such an addiction.
I’m sorry

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Anonymous

Sounds like you’ll be a lot better off without him!
Going weeks without showering and doesn’t work? Is he 15 years old.
I wouldn’t want him to stay for my sons sake. Not a good influence at all.
You’ll be better off financially and mentally without him. Resentment at someone can really eat away at you.
It will take time to adjust to getting rid of him. It will probably really hurt, but think in a years time you’ll be 100% happier and better off.

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Anonymous

Am I the only one who would consider sabotage?
“I have no idea how that drink got spilt on there”

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Anonymous

The only thing that stopped my partner was me leaving. We broke up a few years later anyway. Run for your life

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Anonymous

So he
* doesn’t help with any domestic chores
* barely helps with the baby
* doesn’t talk to you
* no longer intimate
* doesn’t work / contribute financially
I don’t understand why you’re still there. Or why you haven’t kicked him out. This isn’t a marriage. He isn’t a partner - he’s a (really bad) housemate.

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Anonymous

Also as your son grows he will learn that it’s ok to treat you and his future partner with this utter lack of respect.

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Anonymous

Umm..I confused to why you think you deserve this?! you work...he doesn't so should be caring for your child while you work!!! Can you really be in love with that? Stand up for what your worth! Kick him out..get some child care and live a happier life!
Good luck 💜

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Anonymous

I think its time to stand infront of him and ask him for one full 24hours without his game, and tell him it's not negotiable because you need it

My hubby used to be this way, so i 200% get it

Tell him its my day off tomorrow (obviously the night before it is) and we need this day together,
Start the day with a shower together and end the day in bed together
And everything in between

Make sure you talk to him about how its making you feel, your life at the moment
and then come up with a plan together abiut how many hours a day he should be on the game and what you expect from each other without yelling if he starts getting shouty look at him dead in the eyes (as softly as you can) and as calmly as you can and say please i'm trying to work in a way for us both to have what we want and need

Once you start learning to compromise together and work together it'll fall back in place and hopefully he'll be on board for this because what person wants they're partner to be miserable

If not then I'm sorry love hes nit a husband or a partner hes a free loading housemate and its time to kick him out, no matter your feelings, love doesn't cover yours and your childs mental health.

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