Lockdown struggles

Anonymous

Lockdown struggles

Hi IM's,

I am in Melbourne, locked in for at least 5 more weeks. I have a 10 month old baby who is teething, and trying to walk (cue falling, crying etc)

I'm back at work 2 days a week which means she is in daycare and is going great there.

My partner is struggling with depression and anxiety. His coping outlets include sport, the gym and a group of friends that play tabletop games together.
He is unable to do any of these things so is finding day to day hard. He can't sleep, can't think straight and can't focus when baby cries.

We have tried the GP who finally agreed and referred to a psychologist and mental health plan.

The psychologist asked him (and me) what could possibly be so hard about lockdown and a baby?

And suggested he take a walk outside.

This medical professional made me question myself, as I feel burnt out, running the household and caring for him and baby.

He would need another gp referral to get into another psch dr so is just using phone lines.

I'm at a loss. I tried to assist my partner in getting help, and have made it worse for both of us.

I dont even know what to ask.
Thanks for reading

Posted in:  Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression

4 Replies

Anonymous

OMG that pyschologist is an ass! So unprofessional

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Anonymous

Im not sure. Did they mean that mental issues arent a thing, or are they actually trying to pinpoint whats actually so hard. Because 2 adults, one baby, practically isnt that hard on anyone. You have company and help. So whats actually the issue? Thats important to get to.

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Anonymous

I'm thinking this too. The psychologist wants your husband to pinpoint what is triggering him so that they can then start to address them.

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Anonymous

Are there online versions of the games he plays with friends? He would still be getting the social interactions without being in the same room. My 15 year old son has been playing dungeons and dragons over FaceTime with his friends. My 13 year old son plays card games during appointments with his psychologist, and when they’ve had to have zoom appointments they’ve played online versions.

He sounds like he’s usually very active so he does need to get up and start exercising again. My 13 year old son is very active. Little athletics got cancelled before the final comp of the season. Soccer was cancelled before the season even started. Then schools closed so he wasn’t walking to and from school or running around during lunch breaks. It took a few weeks for it to click why he was having trouble sleeping then being exhausted the next day. I started dragging him on a walk each day, anywhere between 2.5 and 5km, letting him decide which way we went. After the first walk he started sleeping better again. We went first up in the morning so he would then be motivated to get his schoolwork done. If I wasn’t up and ready by 8am, he would be at me until I got ready and was out the door. He knew he felt so much better after the daily walk. I don’t know what your restrictions are like, so you’ll need to work out what he can and can’t do, but he needs to get up and move. A daily walk around the block. Laps around the backyard. Running up and down stairs if your house has them. There are plenty of exercise videos on YouTube, find one he likes.

Go back to the GP for another referral for another psychologist. If the GP won’t give him one, find another GP. He needs someone to talk to. It might take several psychologists before finding one he clicks with.

Remember you are doing the best you can and need to take care of yourself too. you can’t pour from an empty cup. You can only do so much to support your husband before he has to take responsibility for himself. I’m not saying this to be nasty, but HE has to want to make the changes he needs to to become a better healthier version of himself.

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