10 year old saying they are gay

Anonymous

10 year old saying they are gay

I’m not even sure how to start this so here we go.

My DD, who is 10, told us at the start of the year that she was gay. We later found out that a girl she was hanging around had told her she was her girlfriend and proceeded to isolate her from the other kids. Our daughter is very shy, quite and lacks confidence so she went along with it. This girl was always (I mean everyday) at our house and at some point kissed our daughter. They had a fight and broke up and stop talking. Then Covid happened.

She has been playing games online with her friends and chatting to them online, yes we know it is her friends as the rule we have is if you don’t physically know and can see the person you are not to speak with or add them. She is brilliant with this and we trust her completely and have full access of her iPad.

Today we were talking and she was sharing her friends secrets. I asked her if she had any, as she tells me everything, and she told me that she had a new girlfriend and that she is a lesbian.

If she is gay that is perfectly fine and we will support her in anyway we can. My question is isn’t she too young to think this? I told her if she still felt that way in a couple of years to let me know. She has some friends who are boys, the problem is they go to a small school and has known them all since kinder so they are just mates to her and she prefers to hang out with the girls, which is fine.

She is not a girly girly has a great group of friends and support. I’m just asking if it is possible to feel this at 10 and understand it? We’ve spoken about it many times.

The only problem is I come from a Christian background and my mum always said to us if we were gay she would throw us out and disown us (I’m bi-sexual and my mum does not know). I don’t know how to tell my mum and get her to take it seriously nor do I want her to reject my daughter.

She is a beautiful girl both inside and out I just want to be able to help her through this stage of her life. Gay or straight she is always my perfect little girl to me and this must be such a scary and confusing time for her.

Any advice ??????

Posted in:  Relationships & Marriage, Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Parenthood Guilt, Kids, Teenagers

5 Replies

Anonymous

I think at 10 if she’s saying she’s gay she might very well be. It’s equally as likely she might not be and it’s just as possible she might be bi like you :) only time will know for sure.

As for your mum why does she need to know right now? Give your daughter time to grow more and see if her preference for females, males or even both change over time as she matures.
I think when the time comes and if your mum finds out your daughter does like both gender or females only and she chooses to disown her (as she’s said she would you) then she’s missing out on a beautiful girl inside and out.

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Anonymous

My bestie knew he was gay at 10, but my niece also came out as a lesbian at 11 and had a girlfriend but not at 13 has a boyfriend and isn’t lesbian. It could go either way and at the moment I wouldn’t make a fuss about it, sometimes girls strive to be individuals, we all want to be “not like other girls”

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Anonymous

I wouldn’t mention it to anyone at this point. She might be, she might not be. Her preferences might change as she matures. As long as mum and dad are supportive of her choices as she grows and matures then no one else needs to be told until she is ready to tell them herself. If anyone does decide to disown her for choices then that’s their problem. They are the ones who miss out on the beautiful life she will lead.

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Anonymous

I knew I was into boys at that age - I had "boyfriends" who I kissed and spent time with, it's when you figure this stuff out. I don't know that there's anything unusual about it, it's certainly not about sex at that age (or at least I hope not!!)

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Anonymous

My brother is gay and he says he knew from when he was about 8 he certainly did have all the signs by the time he was 10 he didn't tell us but we knew he is now 25 and very proudly gay so she may not be too young to know this. as for your mother if she doesn't know about you then why does she need to know about her give her time to grow and figure out who she is before you go down that road the most important thing is that she has a supportive mum which you seem to be. Good luck you you and your daughter

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